When will I throw out my favorite hoodie? It will take over 2 hours to sew its disintegrating seams. My concert hoodie could replace it, or I could find another. I have too many positive memories wearing it to destroy it. So will I keep repairing it until there’s nothing left? Is there a definitive point when we should destroy the things that served us before in favor of things that could serve us more efficiently?
That definitive point might be when it is unable to serve in any capacity.
We can easily discard food wrappers or used napkins since they served their purpose of helping us eat food neatly and have no other intrinsic value. We can recycle food containers if we don’t have an immediate reuse for them. So why do some of us hold onto things for longer than others? Why hold onto things that might be useful later on?
For the potential value later on? For the memorable evening at the show?
Some of my friends live without many personal possessions and others collect obsessively. I’ll occasionally feel that I own too many possessions and other times I’ll collect more. Why do we hold onto things and memories? Sometimes it’s out of convenience. Maybe we haven’t found something better yet? Or maybe we can’t discard these things?
I have one embarrassing memory that pops up occasionally.
While on-assignment, I thought I was being led to the area where I’d work, whereas actually I was not. I’m not sure why that memory pops up, actually, frequently. It would be nice if wearing my favorite hoodie reminded me even half as vividly how inspired I felt the first time I saw Guitar Wolf to give my all to working harder and smarter.
Why can’t we destroy negative memories? Or repair them to serve us?
It’s easier to push those negative memories off to the side when you can’t go back to mend the memory. I can’t return to that aforementioned “being led to the wrong area” event to go a different path. Maybe it replays inappropriately to remind me not to needlessly embarrass myself in that particular situation? If so, I think I’ve got the message by now.
That’s why I’m happy to spend that time sewing those disintegrating seams.
The sewing is completely functional, with little regard for aesthetics, because there’s nothing to hide in clean stitching. It’s falling apart. Why not show it? During the idle moments while sewing, I might sit with memories from that motivational concert, or maybe when I first received the hoodie as a gift, or productive evenings wearing it.
In this way, I can imbue the hoodie with bolder, positive memories.
If you’ll allow a philosophical aside, I will continue to repair this hoodie, even if all of its original fabric disappears, because it’s not so much about the physical attributes of the object itself, moreso the memories that the vessel contains.
Besides, it’s comfy, and I haven’t bothered finding a competitor.