I find I lack self-confidence most when I’m considering my recent mistakes, historical errors, and avoidable wrongdoings. In those moments, how do I- we- press on? What if there were one guaranteed “thing” that you were better at than anyone else? That despite adopting professional or personal personas, it’ll be so true you could never fail at being number one doing? No one else can be better at being you… than you! Now proceed confidently!
Why do we measure ourselves against others?
Will I be the best writer ever? Not by a longshot. Then why try to become a good writer if I can’t be “the best” writer? Because despite measuring sticks like good grades, high scores, financial wealth, toned bodies, honed minds, and actualized egos, there is but one true measurer for our self-worth: ourselves.
Did you try your best?
If so, the external stimulus telling us otherwise don’t matter. Why would they? Do we want to fit into an elite group? We already do! If you believe yourself to be the best version of yourself you can be right now, then you can stride into any situation confidently. Say or do something awkward you later regret?
That was your best at that moment!
If that memory carries regret, practice it in general. Social awkwardness is a lack of practice communicating in certain situations, so if you feel embarrassed over talking to that certain zombie over there, why not study? You should not carry the shame of inadequacy around with you. No one else sees it!
Most people will dig you more if you dig yourself first.
Let’s say you are really good at drawing. Why not share that with others? If you consider the population of the world, some will just not dig your art style. There is no 100% approval for subjectivity like creative, professional, or personal endeavours. If you, yourself, like it, then you’ll find more like-minded people.
If not, keep going! Don’t beat yourself up!
In a world with millions of bands, regardless of what band you like, someone will hate them. Does that mean you shouldn’t like them anymore? Do their opinions matter more than yours? That’s crazy, yet we typically will place more investment in other people’s opinions than our own, typically at great expense to our happiness.
How can we fix that?
Start going out into the world as you want to be considered. Professionally, I hold myself accountable to appear presentable in any possible situation. Personally, dressing as “Zombiepaper” is always fun. I am the only me, so why not play the part? I’ll find truer friends when they meet the real me than the one that pretends to be you.
Be who you want to be now and always.
Wear what you want. Adopt a persona or don’t bother. Don’t worry what others think. Why let them influence the real you? They don’t live with you every moment of every day. They may understand see parts of you well…
But are they the world’s best you?
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: Seeing all sorts of people at a music festival.
Photo: Merchandise booth. For me, concert shirts are the most distinct representation of buying something to externally represent yourself. There’s a sense in comradery wearing something unorthodox.