Self-worth seems to come and go. There are days I’m on top of the world, feeling like everything is fitting into place, and my efforts are moving me miles toward my goals. Then some days… no matter what I try, it seems like I’m stuck in place. When those days happen for me, or when I notice it in others, I say, “let’s have a cup” of coffee or tea to sort it all out.
Personality tests are fun pseudo-scientific sociology exercises to help people explain themselves to others. I can empathize with a few. Their major problem is that they restrict each tester into a personality box where they are only their test result. In this week’s update to “The Story,” along with a casual Applied Psychology entry, let’s explore why. I’ll use the main characters John and Trishna as examples, factoring in the psychological importance of “breaking character.”
A useful idea in overcoming mental anxiety is the mind palace. Let it be a comfortable structure, holding the sum of all of your acquired knowledge, where people may decorate and reside in their own room. These perceptions of people could be close family, good friends, single-serving friends, inspirational figures, imaginary characters, or sworn enemies. You make the house rules and you’re the landlord. Shouldn’t the first rule be forbidding enemies from attempting mental trespassing?
If there’s only one benefit with waking up early, as you peer through the obscuring trees of your mind’s doubts telling you to go back to sleep, it’s getting your shot to advance at something. Maybe it’s preparing for an interview, attending a meeting with an important customer, or refining a skill. I’ve found that my motivations to rise to any challenge of getting any shot goes away when I sleep in. Why is that?
Just as dehydration wilts a flower, complaining wilts a conversation. Maybe faster? We might complain to express displeasure aspects of a current situation. It’s alright if you’re looking for possible solution. If not, if you’re just looking to spread negativity and hatred, get out! Just get your mind straight! Complaining is oppressive, disrespectful, yet with accepting any little help, you could start fixing it. It’s terrible being on the receiving end of complaining without acting.
When will I throw out my favorite hoodie? It will take over 2 hours to sew its disintegrating seams. My concert hoodie could replace it, or I could find another. I have too many positive memories wearing it to destroy it. So will I keep repairing it until there’s nothing left? Is there a definitive point when we should destroy the things that served us before in favor of things that could serve us more efficiently?
We’re living such fast paced lives that when we get any opportunity just to relax, it almost seems we take it too far with relaxation compensation. What would just be moments of recreation turns into hours, days, or lifetimes spent doing nothing particularly productive. Years ago, I could do “nothing” all day. Now, I’ll find something to do if I’m idle more than 15_minutes. I’ll do something physical, nap, or as I’m doing now: write.
“We thought he was with you!” The suave, unkempt man had seen through another magician’s tricks and narrated each step of the trick. He traveled the world, going to cool shows, and “usually, you can get cheap tickets the day of the show. I got these two for free.” After realizing what was going on, I asked the scalper: “How do you pick your marks? What traits do you look for?” He left. Here’s why:
I’m paid to help people through their weaknesses. It’s positive when we break through a problem, I see or hear the relief, and maybe become friends. It’s negative because I am constantly criticized by others. My customers want it done quicker, my team doesn’t want to deal with it, and management doesn’t want to deal with it. Dealing with friction has helped me realize my strengths and weaknesses. Here’s the framework of what I learned:
I don’t engage in small talk. What’s the point of communicating irrelevant information? A seemingly trivial diagnostic question I will use is “how’s it going?” Most people will use that cue to tell me everything about a current pain point they’re either consciously or subconsciously trying to overcome. Since they complained to me, I’ll coax out hidden information to help guide or push them toward an optimal resolution. Here’s some of what I might do: