The hardest thing you can do is be yourself. When you forgo your group’s identity, your duty becomes protecting you and yours rather than relying on others. You have to be ready to defend yourself against those who take potshots at your newly solidified identity. Let’s expand from a specific example: about three hundred people have illegitimately attempted to break into this website within the last ten days and you know what? They failed miserably!
The log showed shy of seven thousand login attempts within one year.
Each dot on the rough map represents an attempt. After re-drawing it, I looked up their IP addresses, and came up with these analogies: each gray dot represents an attempt by an amateur to rattle doorknobs to break entry. They’ll guess a username’s password once, fail before proceeding. Each red dot represents an attempt by someone more serious that scoped out the place then kept trying common keys until security caught them. They’re fortunately harmless with security measures.
Bullies like this don’t bother none.
After all most people do what they can to advance in life. The worst of people will desire what you have and try to knock you down. Better people will collaborate with you for mutual success. Most will ignore you or remain in their world. Since your accomplishments and failures are yours to embrace, why not go all out in living your life as authentically to yourself as possible? Why not just ignore the haters?
You’ll get potshots from all angles: light like those pathetic doorknob rattlers or amateur lockpickers, to heavier still with sideward glances, passive aggressive communication, all the way to direct aggression. If you choose against fighting back, and go where the least resistant path takes you, life will still happen to you. Although you might encounter less hardships, you might be less content with your life’s content.
Forging your identity is the key.
I have an analogy about identities: they’re like boulders in a river. When we’re born, we’re bold and confident about ourselves, like unpolished rocks, before society, family, friends, or other interactions polish us into refined pebbles. We have to progress through that river called life, so it’s not always good to fight every battle, just the ones that are important. Life will polish the roughest or largest patches from your boulder’s identity. Just make sure it doesn’t polish your boulder away.
This website could be a boulder. I’ve readily handed out zero stars in some reviews, which seems hateful, though my intentions are usually about progressing the craft. Never personal attacks. No need because it’s just frustrating and doesn’t readily promote any improvement, which even still, these concerning polishers did inspire me to think about properly handling disrespect.
Building internal resilience against the haters is yielding when needed or wanted, since sometimes constructive criticism appears harshly. Otherwise hold strong. Don’t let the psychological lockpickers break into your mind palace or chip at your boulder-identity.
Hatred isn’t productive, so try to deflect it.