Words mean nothing? If only it were that easy to ignore the comments of others! Especially when I haven’t been confident with my abilities or even my sense of self, even subtly critical statements would dig deep. Now it’s not so much that I don’t care, it’s just I really take a critical look at the sender. Do I know this person? Do I trust this person’s judgement in this area? If not, trash it!
The world would be boring if we were exactly alike. If we all had similar mental or physical traits, then perhaps most external conflicts might slow down, however I don’t think we’d become peaceful. How many conflicting thoughts do you have on a daily basis? How often do like-minded groups disagree? Instead, I think we should celebrate, explore, and learn from our differences. The more I learn from others, the more I learn about myself.
Self-confidence starts with your “self.” Literally and figuratively! When you feel good about yourself, when you trust yourself, and feel comfortable with your actions, the little things don’t bother you as much, and you can take more abuse. Once your internal base is solid, you can then start thinking more externally. You can start trusting others within reason over certain things. Let’s join Mr. A and our crew of writing analogy characters for some examples:
One of the more annoying communication mistakes people make is talking too much. It took me years to understand that. Some close friends told me I talked too much. I couldn’t understand… I just had to tell you every intricate detail about something. It’s important! I was finally able to trap my audience, so they were gonna hear what I had to say! Well, I’ve started practicing civil dialogues as opposed to overwhelming monologues. How?
“Over analysis leads to analysis paralysis.” The main problem with overanalyzing is that you don’t realize when you’re already sinking into analysis paralysis. In moderation, analysis is a fundamental tool in self-development, helping you prevent repeating similar mistakes. It’s just that we’re too critical of ourselves, often to the point of being critical before we even receive that missing piece of information to complete the analysis feedback loop. One quote helps me mute that noise: