[Sober/Confidence] Defense Against Chill

My addictions strangle me when I’m unable to cope with situations. Hearing bad news kills. Chilling, defined here as succumbing to any addiction, then feels acceptable. If you’re anything like me, we need to re-enforce our defenses, rather than ask that the constant barrage of life’s perhaps-positives and perhaps-negatives cooperate with us. It would be nicer to have a conflict-free life. That won’t happen. Let’s instead try figuring out how to build up our defenses.

WANNA READ A COMBINATION OF APPLIED SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SOBER LIVING ON 4/20? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Five Years Sober

Today marks five years since I last drank. I’ve since been in many bars, been around many people drinking, but have had good enough friends to respect me, and steward me through. “If I saw you with a bottle in your hand, I’d knock it out and ask ‘what the hell are you doing?’[1]” My external resilience has enough fortitude to endure pretty much anything now. I think it’s the internal weakness that kills us.

WANNA READ ABOUT MY REFLECTIONS WITH FIVE YEARS AND COUNTING OF SOBRIETY? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Float Tank] Ask Yourself: Why?

I don’t meditate like most people. Traditional practice asks that you should empty your mind, clear your thoughts, and calmly sit. While I’ve had some success with this method for reaching thought equilibrium, I’ve had more success in float tanks (or when I have downtime) letting the errant thoughts freely roam, with the most success occurring after going in with challenging questions that need time to develop, like a photo of an unclaimed optimal future.

WANNA READ MORE? WHY? WELL, WHY NOT? HUH? OH, OK, WELL, I THINK IT’LL HAVE SOME GOOD QUESTIONS ASKING YOU WHY. CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Career Story] Your Ideal Work

I have the technical aptitude, mental fortitude, and capacity to learn a few higher paying skills in my field. I’ve turned them all down. One director was stunned at my no. This is because I realized the work that will inspire me to wake up at 4AM to start my day is not and will never be their work. When you find that work, it’s easy. How do you find that work? Gotta dig deep.

WANNA FIGURE OUT WHAT INTERNAL MOTIVATOR WILL GET YOU OUT OF BED BY 4:30AM? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Applied Self-Confidence] Admitting Your Mistakes

The 400th entry to Better Zombie had the wrong URL for over 12 hours… oops! That’s a trivial mistake. One problem I had growing up – maybe we all did – was the fight toward perfection through never acknowledging your mistakes. It’s always someone/something else’s fault I didn’t get that good grade. That irrational irresponsibility leads to subconscious suffering. Rather than admitting a problem to overcome it, if you avoid confronting the problem, you grow to fear it!

WANNA CONSIDER HOW WHEN WE ADMIT AND CORRECT SMALL MISTAKES, IT CAN HELP US ADDRESS LARGER MISTAKES? HOW IT CAN ALL HELP US AVOID LOSING OUR HEAD? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Career Story] Your Career Advice?

I’ll sometimes ask questions a self-aware videogame character might ask to progress the story along. (…I was a character in a videogame[1]…) Especially when there’s enough time for parting words, I like asking for advice. Along with the extra lives’s worth of experience, these are the most rewarding conversations, because when faced with the reality that we may never meet again, any pretenses are dropped, and we exchange unfiltered truths about ourselves and our realities.

WANNA READ THIS PATTERN-BREAKING CAREER STORY COLUMN? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Grime/Glitter] Distracted From Stress

We have too many distractions. Some distractions are good. Too many distractions leads to that certain indecisiveness that spoils us of our time, enables us to be lazy, and prevents us from doing what we must. These distractions help us cope with terrible commutes or mediocre gigs at the expense of addressing what we must do to resolve the origins of these stressors. Taken broadly, the more we distract ourselves, the less we can do.

WANNA CONSIDER HOW OFTEN WE DISTRACT OURSELVES FROM OUR PROBLEMS? OR HOW OFTEN WE MISS THE RAINBOWS OF LIFE BECAUSE WE’RE FOCUSED ON THE TREES OF STRESS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[The Story] References to Everything

If “The Story” is my writing end goal, why distract myself with so much? The rowing makes sense because it’s good to be healthy. Why not compress it down? Spend that time studying fiction? Read the classics? Take classes, write drafts, send them out for criticism, revise, and learn the craft? Well, the thing about John (left) and Trishna (right) is that they’re two shades of our reality spectrum, and their story references it all.

Spoiler Warning Scale: Minor (worldbuilding)
WANNA SEE HOW EVERYTHING ABOUT THE STORY TIES INTO EVERYTHING ELSE? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Applied Psychology] You’ll Be Fine

Through many thousands of words on self-improvement, “you’ll be fine[1]” should be the overarching mantra that glues it all together. We must now endure an unprecedented amount of stress, from work and others, in this modern reality. Wasn’t the future suppose to be easier? More stress-free? Instead we must find coping mechanisms in inebriation, toys, and escapism to cope. “What happened? We never used to need to worry like this.” “It’s stress. It affects everything [2,3].”

WANNA CONSIDER THAT YOU’RE ALRIGHT JUST THE WAY YOU ARE? AND IF YOU WANT TO POLISH AND REFINE YOUR PSYCHE/SELF, THAT IT SHOULD BE FOR POSITIVE INTENTIONS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Words Mean Nothing III

Words mean nothing when you’re stressed out and longing for that familiar, harmful way to decompress. Even close to five years later, the numbness of having a drink or five is still ingrained in my psyche as the ideal evening. We must instead practice alternative actions. Since I don’t think as clearly in the evenings, after constantly confronting stress, I go to sleep early to subconsciously wade through that stress to arrive at actionable solutions.

WANNA CONSIDER HOW WE CAN EITHER CONFRONT OUR FEARS OR HIDE BEHIND THE VEILS OF COMFORT? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!