[Sober Living] No More Drinks!

I hate this feeling. Some deep, overwhelmingly physical sensation, contorts my gut violently. But it’s not physical. It’s pride, humiliation, justification, disrespect, and all the things that I shouldn’t have to fight, yet it drags me down yet again. The urge to escape this feeling can’t be quenched by escapism. No matter how good whatever I’m doing might be, as soon as it’s over, I’m back to thinking about this. Can’t drink my way out.

WANNA READ A STRATEGY FOR PREVENTING YOURSELF FROM FALLING DEEPER? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Pain Go Away

I would go well past the point of social inebriation because I couldn’t handle the pain of reality. I needed panacea. The serene bliss of numbness outweighed any risk. I was also in a self-destructive mindset stating ‘not much is my fault,’ especially when I couldn’t address the stress and pain in my life, because I was the innocent victim, after all… The pain is still here. It’s just now I can actually fix it!

WANNA READ ABOUT HOW I MAKE THE PAIN GO AWAY WITHOUT THE HELP OF EXTERNAL DISTRACTORS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober/Confidence] Defense Against Chill

My addictions strangle me when I’m unable to cope with situations. Hearing bad news kills. Chilling, defined here as succumbing to any addiction, then feels acceptable. If you’re anything like me, we need to re-enforce our defenses, rather than ask that the constant barrage of life’s perhaps-positives and perhaps-negatives cooperate with us. It would be nicer to have a conflict-free life. That won’t happen. Let’s instead try figuring out how to build up our defenses.

WANNA READ A COMBINATION OF APPLIED SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SOBER LIVING ON 4/20? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Applied Self-Confidence] Focus On Yourself

I think we focus too much on what other people think about us. When I’ve felt awkward, it’s usually because I’m thinking too much about what people think of me while I’m doing something. It’s all in my head, too. No one ran up to me exclaiming that I shouldn’t photograph this sign. Most people wouldn’t even care. If they did, it’s only because I distracted their own focus. How can we overcome focus insecurity?

WANNA CONSIDER HOW YOU CAN THICKEN YOUR SKIN JUST BY NOT CARING ABOUT EVERY NUANCE IN YOUR ENVIRONMENT? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] My Everclear Story

I don’t remember what stressed me out enough to possess me to drive home on my lunch break, drink enough 190-proof grain alcohol to get wasted almost immediately, before driving back into work to finish my shift. That event’s cleared out of my memory. It was certainly trivial, like someone saying something in a particular way I didn’t like or some process not working as it should, because I’ve encountered many harsher situations while sober.

WANNA READ ABOUT HOW I’VE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP MY COOL OVER THESE PAST FIVE YEARS WITHOUT A LIQUID CRUTCH? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Five Years Sober

Today marks five years since I last drank. I’ve since been in many bars, been around many people drinking, but have had good enough friends to respect me, and steward me through. “If I saw you with a bottle in your hand, I’d knock it out and ask ‘what the hell are you doing?’[1]” My external resilience has enough fortitude to endure pretty much anything now. I think it’s the internal weakness that kills us.

WANNA READ ABOUT MY REFLECTIONS WITH FIVE YEARS AND COUNTING OF SOBRIETY? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Float Tank] Ask Yourself: Why?

I don’t meditate like most people. Traditional practice asks that you should empty your mind, clear your thoughts, and calmly sit. While I’ve had some success with this method for reaching thought equilibrium, I’ve had more success in float tanks (or when I have downtime) letting the errant thoughts freely roam, with the most success occurring after going in with challenging questions that need time to develop, like a photo of an unclaimed optimal future.

WANNA READ MORE? WHY? WELL, WHY NOT? HUH? OH, OK, WELL, I THINK IT’LL HAVE SOME GOOD QUESTIONS ASKING YOU WHY. CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Fiction Practice] Let’s Say No

She exhaled as the berating continued. “You don’t have the skills or qualifications for this requisition! Even if you did, Chris’s client is looking for senior candidates, only! They won’t want to train someone!! They want someone that knows This and That. Do you even know about This? Or That?!” “Yes, I learned about both working at Eville L-Library.” She inhaled deeply on her cigarette. “That’s not good enough! They don’t want to train someone!”

WANNA READ ABOUT HOW PEOPLE DON’T REALIZE WHEN THEY’RE MAD UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Way Too High

What’s your comfortable limit? How much until you say to yourself “that’s enough” and actually call it enough? Do you know at what point you’ll go too far? For me (and possibly others), there’ll be an excuse planned out rather than a plan to excuse myself from the situation. We’ll take it as far as it’ll last. Even Wednesday, with an endlessly refilled coffee cup, I know I still have improvement room with my resolve.

WANNA CONSIDER HOW WE CAN CONSTANTLY TEST TO SEE IF WE’RE IN GOOD HEALTH? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[The Story] My Oldest References

In my last summer without obligations, between high school and college, I spent most of that innocent time writing a foundational element to “The Story” References stars John (left) as “everSOL the Valiant,” crash-lander on a strange planet that is driven to find his dearest friend “Trisha” (right). I forgot about References to become a salaryman. After rescuing it from this almost-lost disk, what’s available is online, unmodified. Let’s talk about my successful failure: References.

Spoiler Warning Scale: Minor (just recollections, regrets, reinforcements…) WANNA LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES TO BETTER IMPLEMENT YOUR BIGGEST IDEAS AND DREAMS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!