While there’s something to be said for playing life safely, when the opportunity strikes, jump up on life’s stage! Get outside your comfort zone! Even for just a minute. The experience will probably be uncomfortable, you might need to push through fatigue, or embarrass yourself. You might step in spilled beer, get bumped into harmlessly, or get your picture taken. You also might not get the best shot. That’s still better than no shot whatsoever!
In ten years, will I have this spider’s confidence? It stared right at me. To not be skittish around anyone I don’t fully know? To not feel embarrassed over the most minor, benign, and otherwise harmless social faux paus? The courage to talk to anyone? Compared to ten years ago, I do have more self-confidence, so I imagine in ten more years of practice, I’ll be closer. I have had glimpses of this spider’s confidence…
As soon as I realized my current goal, writing “The Story,” things fell into place. I stopped wasting time with things I didn’t care about. I reinvested in my health. Your goals don’t have to be lofty! Let’s revisit last week’s Dr. Mindbender, photographed below. His goal is just to play this Pac-Man arcade cabinet. While playing, he might notice people laughing at him. He doesn’t care. He’s focused on his goals!
Focus on yours!
Don’t run from your pain! Whether it’s a something physical like an injury or something mental like ennui, learn to embrace that pain. Pain will remind you of your motivations more than the seduction of any numbing pleasure. Pain will be with you always. Pleasure is fleeting and addicting. Pleasure will leave you in both your darkest hours and when everything seems wonderful, whereas when disciplined properly, pain will be motivation toward achieving your goals.
I used to consider other people’s opinions of me when considering my self worth. If the group liked me, then I liked me. If a group had a problem with me, then I needed to address that along with nine unrelated problems. On the surface, that should be easy to identify as false, yet we all do it. If there’s one thing I can stress in the realm of self-confidence, it’s this:
Trust in yourself!
Self-confidence is built, challenged, and reinforced gradually. I’m certainly no poster child myself! I’ve just identified subtle improvements to my external-facing self-confidence over the past 10 weeks and 65 uploads. Identifying limitations was one. I thought that posting fiction on the weekends would be a cool idea, only to realize the execution required too much effort within tight timeframes on Thursdays and Fridays, so now I’m mixing up the format. Let’s dig into meatier examples, shown below:
If there’s a self-confidence scale ranging from humility to arrogance, I lean heavily into arrogance. I’m OK with overconfidence. Just long as we’re not belittling others while dreaming the possibilities. I’ve met dreamers that were so decisive that they’d cut out anyone that wasn’t fully on-board with their dreams. I try not to be that! I just believe that to fully realize your dreams, you must wholeheartedly believe in yourself first, before realizing any possibilities.
“I have nothing to write today.” That thought stopped me in my tracks during one of my better rowing sessions. What a challenge! Let’s walk around the idea of writing blocks until we find a point to start chipping away what stops us. If writing blocks are anything like sculpting blocks, then it could be as easy as screwing inhibition and starting, although if it were that easy, then there’d be nothing after the jump.
(Spoilers: There’s more!)
WANNA BRAINSTORM IDEAS TO OVERCOME WRITER’S BLOCK? KEEP ON READING!