After years of wallowing in self-pity, I realized something: I would only place my value in only one side of myself. I focused only on my career, playing videogames, or watching movies exclusively. That’s the fastest way to burn out! What happens when your career hits a rough patch? No good videogames? Watch some bad movies? My self-confidence, motivation, and overall demeanor would go in the dumps.
Starting four years and eight months ago, I began developing mental fortitude against temptation, negativity, and the stresses that would otherwise compel me to numbness through alcohol. This pursuit of sobriety propelled me into self-improvement, which I partially credit for my endurance to evade sketchy situations in my conscious life. How about in my unrestrained dreams? Where anything is possible, including finding myself pouring vodka into this very glass, splashing in some orange juice, and…
Self-worth seems to come and go. There are days I’m on top of the world, feeling like everything is fitting into place, and my efforts are moving me miles toward my goals. Then some days… no matter what I try, it seems like I’m stuck in place. When those days happen for me, or when I notice it in others, I say, “let’s have a cup” of coffee or tea to sort it all out.
I never had to seriously answer: “what you want to be when you grow up?” All I had to do was politely finish the required school work then I could lounge. Even as recently as two years ago, I worked hard at jobs, yet had no ambition toward any goals. I was content merely completing the required work so I could return to lounging. Now I’ve discovered my path and what I need to be.