After years of wallowing in self-pity, I realized something: I would only place my value in only one side of myself. I focused only on my career, playing videogames, or watching movies exclusively. That’s the fastest way to burn out! What happens when your career hits a rough patch? No good videogames? Watch some bad movies? My self-confidence, motivation, and overall demeanor would go in the dumps.
Starting four years and eight months ago, I began developing mental fortitude against temptation, negativity, and the stresses that would otherwise compel me to numbness through alcohol. This pursuit of sobriety propelled me into self-improvement, which I partially credit for my endurance to evade sketchy situations in my conscious life. How about in my unrestrained dreams? Where anything is possible, including finding myself pouring vodka into this very glass, splashing in some orange juice, and…
As soon as I realized my current goal, writing “The Story,” things fell into place. I stopped wasting time with things I didn’t care about. I reinvested in my health. Your goals don’t have to be lofty! Let’s revisit last week’s Dr. Mindbender, photographed below. His goal is just to play this Pac-Man arcade cabinet. While playing, he might notice people laughing at him. He doesn’t care. He’s focused on his goals!
Focus on yours!
Self-worth seems to come and go. There are days I’m on top of the world, feeling like everything is fitting into place, and my efforts are moving me miles toward my goals. Then some days… no matter what I try, it seems like I’m stuck in place. When those days happen for me, or when I notice it in others, I say, “let’s have a cup” of coffee or tea to sort it all out.
I used to consider other people’s opinions of me when considering my self worth. If the group liked me, then I liked me. If a group had a problem with me, then I needed to address that along with nine unrelated problems. On the surface, that should be easy to identify as false, yet we all do it. If there’s one thing I can stress in the realm of self-confidence, it’s this:
Trust in yourself!
Even at concerts, bastions of individual and self-identity, people will jump at the chance to brand themselves. Not that I’m any different. It is, after all, more comfortable to be in a group with like-minded people, whether it’s in a concert with people that like the same sort of music you do, in a club around a hobby you like, or in a job. I think we should practice individuality as part of our self-confidence.
“The Story” will mainly tell the story of two characters: John (left) and Trishna (center). During a summer they spend together on Trishna’s family farm before heading off to college, after years of chatting exclusively online with the occasional phone call, they learn about each other and the world. They’ll talk with her parents Divit (center) and Brigit (right) about these topics, in passing, cemented with one serious conversation that should help them stay safe.
Spoiler Warning Scale: Minor (backstory and worldbuilding)
WANNA SEE THE BRAINSTORMING BEHIND THE BIG TALK? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!
Self-confidence starts with your “self.” Literally and figuratively! When you feel good about yourself, when you trust yourself, and feel comfortable with your actions, the little things don’t bother you as much, and you can take more abuse. Once your internal base is solid, you can then start thinking more externally. You can start trusting others within reason over certain things. Let’s join Mr. A and our crew of writing analogy characters for some examples: