[Sober/Confidence] Defense Against Chill

My addictions strangle me when I’m unable to cope with situations. Hearing bad news kills. Chilling, defined here as succumbing to any addiction, then feels acceptable. If you’re anything like me, we need to re-enforce our defenses, rather than ask that the constant barrage of life’s perhaps-positives and perhaps-negatives cooperate with us. It would be nicer to have a conflict-free life. That won’t happen. Let’s instead try figuring out how to build up our defenses.

WANNA READ A COMBINATION OF APPLIED SELF-CONFIDENCE AND SOBER LIVING ON 4/20? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Rowing Machine] 2018: Week 16 {238.5}

Fitness is difficult for me when I have no functional goals. Health goals work for me when I actively notice looming threats like continual poor health, cardiovascular issues, or diabetic trends. Once those clear up, I lose the motivation. If the goal is something more tangible however, like being able to increase my body’s functionality in order to get more done throughout the day, then I’m all over it! Tools, then, mean nothing without use.

WANNA SEE HOW I’VE HONED MY FITNESS THROUGHOUT THE WEEK? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Life After Insobriety

I’m still five years clean and five years sober, but that third counter, the addiction to weakness: that’s been going for a few days now. Writing about that helped. Let’s run through an essay about how it’s been over the few days of being in and out of that old familiar zombing drone. It wasn’t without event casualties, though I’m feeling more solid while writing this than I have in a week… or perhaps more?

WANNA VICARIOUSLY LIVE THROUGH SOME HARD TIMES TO GET THROUGH TO SOME GOOD TIMES? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Rowing Machine] 2018: Week 15 {240.0}

Accomplishing any goal requires internal motivation and external motivation. My internal motivation to burn 60 pounds in 6 months nearly 10 years ago was my desperation to get out of terrible health. My external motivation was a convenient gym membership. Similar desperation rekindled that internal motivation last year. Unfortunately, internal motivation disappears without external motivation. That was initially just this weekly column, then daily social media accountability, now, a natural addition to my home gym. (…And eventual set?)


WANNA READ ABOUT WHAT MIGHT FIT THAT EXTERNAL MOTIVATION? SOMETHING THAT WE ALL MIGHT BE ABLE TO DO AND DOESN’T REQUIRE ENDORSING A PRODUCT OR DEVICE? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Relapsing on Diphenhydramine

I don’t know what I was thinking on Tuesday, April 3rd. Probably nothing at all. I was certainly distracted by an overwhelming, lingering, emptiness, even though things are going fine. I just wasn’t feeling well. Not feeling “on my game,” being just sick enough, with creeping self-doubt mixes together into self-destructive disaster smoothy for me. With most of the remaining expired bottle of diphenhydramine, in fancy blue, I took 175 milligrams of the old familiar deliriant.

WANNA GO DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE WITH ME? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Rowing Machine] 2018: Week 14 {239.5}

Compared to last year, a yard work activity took me half the time and drained my energy perhaps half as much, because I still did a 10-minute rowing set. I’m not as far along on my fitness journey as I would prefer, however, I’ve made significant progress toward getting there! Fast progress leads to failure. There’s no sustaining it. Long-term trends typically work because there’s less effort trying to maintain your status quo of success.

WANNA SEE HOW I’VE DISRUPTED MY STATUS QUO IN TRYING TO GET MYSELF INTO BETTER HEALTH? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] My Everclear Story

I don’t remember what stressed me out enough to possess me to drive home on my lunch break, drink enough 190-proof grain alcohol to get wasted almost immediately, before driving back into work to finish my shift. That event’s cleared out of my memory. It was certainly trivial, like someone saying something in a particular way I didn’t like or some process not working as it should, because I’ve encountered many harsher situations while sober.

WANNA READ ABOUT HOW I’VE BEEN ABLE TO KEEP MY COOL OVER THESE PAST FIVE YEARS WITHOUT A LIQUID CRUTCH? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Applied Self-Confidence] Confidence Through Sobriety

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about self-confidence through five years of sobriety, it’s valuing myself more. This isn’t an exclusive trait of sobriety. I’m just more resilient against merely going with the crowd now. If they’re all going to the bar to go drink, and I’m not feeling particularly strong-willed, I’m comfortable saying no. Also, if anything doesn’t feel quite right, I’m more comfortable voicing my opinion, because what have I got to lose?

WANNA READ ABOUT SOBRIETY-BASED RESILIENCE AND HOW THAT COULD APPLY EVEN IF YOU DRINK HEAVILY OR OCCASIONALLY? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Sober Living] Five Years Sober

Today marks five years since I last drank. I’ve since been in many bars, been around many people drinking, but have had good enough friends to respect me, and steward me through. “If I saw you with a bottle in your hand, I’d knock it out and ask ‘what the hell are you doing?’[1]” My external resilience has enough fortitude to endure pretty much anything now. I think it’s the internal weakness that kills us.

WANNA READ ABOUT MY REFLECTIONS WITH FIVE YEARS AND COUNTING OF SOBRIETY? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!

[Rowing Machine] 2018: Week 13 {242.0}

There’s a phrase circulating professional sites: “people don’t leave companies, they leave bosses.[1]” Those bosses, and I’ve had two, were weak links in the corporate chain. Without proper inspection, they caused their whole department to fall into disrepair. With a little managerial lubrication, every employee works more efficiently. Similarly, if a rowing machine’s chain (if applicable) is under disrepair, your stats go down. If only bad managers could get a little maintenance like rowing machines.

WANNA READ HOW I’VE BEEN MAINTAINING MYSELF BECAUSE I CAN’T MAINTAIN OTHERS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!