[Applied Psychology] Have A Cup

Self-worth seems to come and go. There are days I’m on top of the world, feeling like everything is fitting into place, and my efforts are moving me miles toward my goals. Then some days… no matter what I try, it seems like I’m stuck in place. When those days happen for me, or when I notice it in others, I say, “let’s have a cup” of coffee or tea to sort it all out.

I’m not a therapist, psychologist, or even a professional in any related field.

I’m just someone that’s dealt enough with the adverse psychological states of others and myself to be able to draw out the pain points from situations. Over the years of my career, when people reported seemingly benign technical issues, I learned to filter out the noise and hear what actually was being said: they were frustrated over something, and needed to tell it to someone.

Let’s say Razorclaw, photographed above, has a reoccurring professional customer.

That customer, off-screen, presents him with a problem. “My widget doesn’t work.” “OK, have a seat and a cup of coffee. Tell me what’s going on.” He already knows it’s not about the widget. It’s always something else, and because he’s friends with this customer, he uses this conversational space of five to so minutes to give an empathetic ear before leaving on a high-note.

These conversation with his reoccurring customer end well for Razorclaw, too.

He might use that time to relate, by talking about something bothering him. Maybe he receives an occasional token gift, like a snack or a cup of coffee, that help him feel better? Or maybe he just likes helping people feel better? Regardless of reason, he realizes that there’s some good in what he does, so he applies it to more than just these chats.

That’s where I began refining my applied psychology studies in technical support.

I enjoy hearing about various situations in life and helping people figure out resolutions to their problems, but, only if they’re willing to try working on their problems. I’ve found that when people complain, they’re not looking for a resolution. They’re just looking to express a negative emotion or hatred. I’m not down for that. I’m also not looking to force ideas upon other people.

If they’re at all open to trying new ideas, I’m open to tossing out relevant ideas.

Some of those ideas don’t stick. That’s OK. We’re not talking just to solve each others problems, apparent or otherwise, because maybe it’s just a quick technical question, or maybe we’re just waving “hello!” When we talk, it should be more reassurance that there are people out there who are willing to do more than just let you air out your frustrations into the void.

I think we’ve lost sight of that in this digital age.

We’re all so connected, and yet, further disconnected than ever.

Do we ever reconnect with each other or ourselves?

Let’s start with saying:

“You do have value!”

My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.