[Applied Self-Confidence] Bettering Better Zombie, 02

Self-confidence is built, challenged, and reinforced gradually. I’m certainly no poster child myself! I’ve just identified subtle improvements to my external-facing self-confidence over the past 10 weeks and 65 uploads. Identifying limitations was one. I thought that posting fiction on the weekends would be a cool idea, only to realize the execution required too much effort within tight timeframes on Thursdays and Fridays, so now I’m mixing up the format. Let’s dig into meatier examples, shown below:

Note: Here’s a shortcut map to all of the posts shown above. Look to the numbered date to the left of the article you want to read. Find that associated number on the chart below to read it:

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Concerning self-confidence, I’ve been working on becoming more comfortable with “winging it.”

Not every post needs a grand concept. I’ve already taken close to 30,000 photos over the years, so when I don’t have a solid idea, I just go looking for an idea and usually something will work out. Cracking the Egg was a memorable example. I dug through some rather difficult photos, this one gave me a reaction, so I just started writing. I used that braindump to work through a problem that had just lingered for years.

Sometimes, writing like that might get a little personal.

The intent of telling you, my reader(s), enjoyable moments like Getting More Popular and painful moments like Two Four Eight, like I might tell a psychologist, is partially to exorcise those moments from my memory so I can focus on new moments. The public forum keeps things honest, neutral so it’s not just me being “the protagonist,” and with the intent of helping others, since you can read about the shit I’ve done without doing it yourself.

Maybe you could learn from this mostly concluded hardship:

I’ve been forced into the acute awareness that I can learn basically anything, unless I do not have an interest in learning the topic, then I lack the mental capacity to focus on the topic for more than maybe one hour. My brain overheats, which could explain some of my headaches, and my body becomes sore in weird ways. If I’m interested in the topic, like writing, I can focus on it for hours without even a second thought.

So that’s nice to know some of my current limitations.

I can then decide to push through those limitations. Similar to writing, where a major flaw even months ago for me and perhaps for others is the idea of being too self-conscious about how the writing sounds. “Do I have the right first line?” “Does this word choice flow perfectly?”

Just push through that!

You can either edit it down later on, or leave it as an example of how you think when left to your own devices. No need to strive for perfection on every go, sometimes, “good enough” is more than sufficient. You’re more than good enough.

That concludes some of my recent confidence building.

My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.