What happens when our egos shatter? Isn’t that it? Will we ever be the same as we were before cracking that egg? Our self-confidence, our pride in ourselves and what we’re able to accomplish with our lives, our egos, well, they’re not eggs! I took this photo the morning before the most recent time, and hopefully the last time, my ego cracked. With time, I reinforced my self-confidence to be better than before. Here’s how:
You start by picking yourself back up.
Rebuild yourself at your own pace. It’s alright if you’re not able to recover from some ego-shattering moment overnight. It took me time. It’s better if you go slower because you’ll learn more about yourself. You’ll see what pressures led up to the event. You’ll see where the crack happened, fill in those cracks, and begin to celebrate the cracks (kintsugi) in time.
You’ll certainly never let it happen again.
Self-confidence involves having the resilience to know that when you keep making the same mistakes repeatedly that you’re not a bad person. It might not be your fault. Sure, you do need to adapt, and you do need to keep trying your best. It’s just so often we treat ourselves as our own worst enemy. Don’t! When you face trying times, that’s the time you need yourself as an ally the most!
You should embrace your flaws.
Once you accept yourself as an imperfect being, with things that you either can’t or won’t change, something wonderful happens: you’ll be less worried about your flaws. The flaw that cracked me nearly 2 years ago… was that I wanted to be everyone’s friend. I wanted to help everyone I could… and the batch of people that ended up taking advantage of my innocence mercilessly were unwilling to help me at all. In taking this photo, I was asking for help, and the response was apathy. By that evening-
You don’t have to dive in that deep.
There are situations in your day that may leave you feeling embarrassed. You might get a little stressed out over how someone said something. You might take something just a little too personally. You might feel the weight of the world pressing up against you just too much.
You should find a hobby where you have complete autonomy.
Screw something up? Break it? Who cares!? If you’re overly critical of the mistakes you’ve done with your hobby, drop it. Find something else. Something productive where you can feel good about yourself for having completed it, and if you stumble along the way, you don’t feel discouraged.
You can build your self-confidence through these hobbies.
I feel great when I help people. It’s easier to help people out individually, though I enjoy writing to a wider audience. After writing this cathartic piece about overcoming one of my trying times, not only have I finally resolved that last little issue related to that dark day, I feel better, too.
You can put your ego’s eggshell back together!