[Applied Self-Confidence] Defending Your Insecurities

Stop defending yourself! Quit justifying your existence, your actions, or your life’s intentions to every person you observe. We’ve got it all twisted. Sure, it’s important to explain ourselves to our family and close friends. They’re invested in our future and our failures could drag them down financially or emotionally. Everyone else, though? Who cares! Why invest your energy in the stranger that might scoff at you? All that does is lead to feeling insecure!

I’m the least self-confident when I’m the most self-conscious.

If I walk into a situation worried about what I look like, what I’m doing, or my brain is crammed full of other self-conscious thoughts, then I’m just not comfortable. Whereas either once I get my bearings straight by focusing on why I’m there, find someone that I can chat with to help me ease my anxieties, or briefly forget about myself, then I’m good!

If that’s a widely-applicable interpretation, how do we overcome that?

That’s us putting our egos too much into situations. Let’s say I’m browsing the LEGO toy aisle looking for narrative props for “The Story.” If people are currently in the aisle, my mind could flood with thoughts about how they think I’m some creep because LEGOs are for kids. Chances are, though, they won’t even care unless I get in their way!

Part of disseminating your defenses is just “getting over yourself.”

“He’s like the entry-level celebrity. If he were to walk around New York, all the girls would be like ‘ahhh!‘ But around here? No one would know him.[1]” Unless you’re a massive celebrity, or you’re a celebrity within a certain context like toy reviewer ShartimusPrime meeting a fan at Toys R Us, chances are no one cares who you are!

I’ve accidentally met so many below entry-level musicians at venues.

Excluding the the Top 100 hottest musicians, fans of smaller bands at smaller venues will usually recognize the musicians prior to their acts, buy stuff, get that stuff signed, and hang around to chat. Observing or participating in that is a great way to realize how throwing our egos around will not get us anywhere. No one likes a jerk!

Performing up on stage is the key. If they’re good, they’ll earn new fans.

If not, they’ll return to just being another member of the audience. With that thought in mind, some of my insecurities arise from being concerned over how to react in potential situations, when really, how often does that happen? When I was walking in the city once, someone messed with me and how I walked. I just laughed it off!

Who was that person? Who knows. They were just drunk and fooling around.

Similarly, when you innocently go about your day, please quietly laugh off any insecurity that may be festering inside you. Say something odd, misstep, or otherwise make a fool of yourself? Own it! We aren’t perfect beings. We all have insecurities!

It’s just a matter of stopping the insecurities from controlling our emotions.

Sources: My personal experiences.

Quotes: [1] My buddy Bernardo on Albert Hammond Jr.

Inspirations: Musing on my insecurities.

Related: Nothing directly.

Photo: Dutch angle of a stop sign for dramatic effect.

My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.