For the first few years of my professional life, I remember feeling almost envy toward office workers. It’s been long enough ago now that I can say what I did. Almost weekendly, I joined teams of dozens – if not hundreds – of people moving hundreds – if not thousands – of workstations at Microsoft’s headquarters. While I appreciated the money, I always thought the work was absurd. Why didn’t these people stay put or plan their long-term office?
Two thoughts describe my birthday: dealing with the unnecessary pain of red tape and healing with those who were more considerate of my limited energy. The terrible pains encompassing the American Healthcare System don’t take rests, except on weekends, so they will call, email, schedule things, and they will proceed, which is nice, except, it’s all so tiring. I would have liked more personal, alone time, more energy to do more, but I enjoyed myself.
Comparing last year’s surface-level aesthetics to this year’s, not much’s changed. I’m still in the apartment-mansion. Some objects probably haven’t even moved in that year; closer to most. Yet, digging deeper, I feel like I’ve made substantial progress in many important areas, even if I’ve regressed in some other important areas. I’ve written a novel since last year! I may write another before I turn 35! If it weren’t for health degradation, I’d say life’s better…
How often do you act to impress others? When we self-sacrifice for the sake of others, are we doing it to impress them? Or is it an inconsequentiality of actions we would have done regardless? In this part of FF7, we can decide whether or not to raid a nest for some items that were useless for me. When I can, I do prefer seeing all dialogue options, otherwise, I might role-play from certain perspectives.
I woke up feeling like I had already wasted the day because my head hurt so much that I couldn’t focus on any of the beauty within life and everything. How can I get into a better headspace from that starting position? How can I possibly do anything other than spend all of my energy attempting to mend the back pain that has hurt me so much? Here’s how I got to writing this essay.
“This is probably just vanity, but [user]’s got my scalp and it kind of annoys me that [they] of all people has it – which is probably why [they]’s adorning it.”
“Well if [they] has it adorned there isn’t much we can do”
“Yeah offer a trade maybe”
“True. I’m just leaving it [as-is] because eventually [they]’ll get bored like any other bully, whereas if I get mad or do any trades then that value increases.”
In ENDLESS WAR, I was thrust into a morality decision that I did not like, so I acted or perhaps overreacted in ways that best suit my core thoughts on life. This didn’t make the other happy. When I woke up, I found myself writing my life’s ethos over the period of roughly ten minutes. It’s not a perfect representation of every aspect of my beliefs. However, as a broad starter, I think it’s fair.
When you’re not scared of edits, there’s a certain pleasure that happens from seeing the edits that were made by your collaborators. You forget what you specifically wrote or changed. You look at what’s in front of you, and you think, ‘wow, this is really coming together!’ Today, I started editing a story taking place within ENDLESS WAR somewhere around 12:30pm and wrapped up my edits through chapter three at 2:12pm. Here are thsome thoughts.
I nearly went up against the Elite Four in Pokémon LeafGreen tonight. Sometimes, in life, this is a good thing, going into battle when you’re first viable enough to not be defeated outright. It’s how I wrote Novel 01. Inspired by NaNoWriMo, I could have said no if, after my two-week gestation period, I didn’t think I could viably write a 60,000-word novel somewhere in the Sammohini Arc of “The Story.” Other times, patience can help.
Writing is all about overcoming the fear of opinions from others. When you write for yourself, you can write whatever you want. When you share your writing with anyone, effective writing is taking the idea that’s in your head, packaging it in a way that anyone can understand, so they can let your ideas live, survive, and thrive in their minds. This requires constantly tearing apart your work to rebuild it. Don’t fear those criticisms.