I couldn’t help but think of the song “Walk Like A Zombie” by HorrorPops as I walked away from my MRI yesterday. In zombie movies, there is a distinct throughline between the old school movies where zombies are a psychological threat and new school movies where they’re a ridiculous- oh wait, they’re not all ridiculous. It’s just the notion that these possessed creatures could sprint is a silly thought; they should be named something else…
Last week or so, I moved some DVDs and other milk cartons to a spot that was previously occupied by a 4-tier shelf that I’ll be giving to a friend soon. When I looked over at those DVDs the other day, I saw Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within and Apollo 13, and wondered aloud: When will I watch these movies again? Where will I watch either of these DVDs again? Without good answers, why keep them?
I’m starting the process of renewing my lease in the apartment-mansion for what will end on Year 3. I wrote last year, perhaps not succinctly, that I had wanted to plan on moving out by this time. Instead, my health has delayed many of my life’s plans. I can’t really expect much throughout 2021, but if I could write about some broad plans, I’ve narrowed them down to four: “Health,” “Downsizing,” “Balancing,” and then “Writing Fiction Frequently.”
Well, if it hadn’t been obvious before, my 2020 has been shitty, like everyone else’s. I’ve been graced with a rare moment of having enough energy to write some essays, so I figure, why not go down the list until I’m exhausted? I don’t have the energy to make some kind of fancy essay with this one, and I’ve already meandered through all the media I experienced in 2020, so consider this more of a broad 2020 meandry.
Rounding out the essays summarizing my experiences with media throughout 2020, this would be the year where I figured out my relationship with videogames. Videogames don’t exactly help me write fiction, so for years, I considered them a sort of nice distraction but nothing overly valuable. Through my continued health problems, I’ve found some solace in playing videogames, watching them, and when/if I should fully recover my health, I want to livestream videogame plays more often.
If I consider the shows, anime, movies, and YouTube videos/series, I’ve meandered through in 2020, most were decent enough, but nothing was really as good as finding the livestreaming pockets of fragmented communities I found in late-2020. To an extent, I’m not much of a fan of formal communities. When there is a hierarchy, there can be ostracization, but if everyone is a broadcaster and participant, everyone can be fans of each other’s content or presence.
As an essay spoiler alert, I won’t be giving a list of top novels I’ve read or even top anythings I’ve read. 2020 wasn’t a year where I felt well enough to do anything requiring deep concentration. Reading has always been difficult for me. I am not an overly-distracted individual, but for some reason, sitting with a novel can quickly distract me into myriad meandry thoughts. 2020 helped me appreciate using audiobooks to wade through mediocre readings.
If I were to summarize the 2020 albums as I heard them, as I did in 2018, even though everything went to shit, at least we got some good music in many genres. The year started off like any other, with my earlier meandry reviews implying a mindset of getting out in life more to random concerts and such, but after COVID closed concerts and my health problems, well, at least I heard 193 good albums released in 2020.
I thought about livestreaming for the first time a few hours ago and about one hour later I was livestreaming FF7. I originally thought of excessively meandering around Cosmo Canyon, my favorite part of the game, to motivate me to continue on. Then I wondered: What if I meander around while livestreaming this experience with the vast unknown of anonymous and users with names? Plus, I can keep the recordings of both test videos forever.
Since starting Better Zombie, I’ve been coming to terms with my social anxiety by doing things to get out there more. It’s like exposure therapy. If I try to talk to people all at once, it can be overwhelming. If I pop into random people’s livestreams when I’m feeling social and we strike up a conversation, it becomes comfortable and easier going forward. I valiantly stepped outside my comfort zone on a few occasions today.