My-Today, I had the worst headache I’ve had in what feels like years. I can barely focus on much and I will have trouble writing because I have trouble concentrating. This 500-word daily writing goal seems so far off for me right now. I will do the best I can and part of that involves closing my eyes and writing without spell checking, because that’s the accurate depiction of my life as I expected it.
Last week, I did a rudimentary search for volunteer opportunities and found something that seemed interesting in an altruistic perspective that I could appreciate. I applied and today we had a 15-minute phone call about the position. I said that I am looking to volunteer to practice my skills after having been disabled for two years and in exchange I’m willing to help with whatever efforts might be open. This could be a good exchange.
My idea to exercise twice-daily unless I don’t feel well enough to do so or am doing other activities, like getting groceries, is turning out well. The primary purpose is to build up my endurance again so I can start doing more things, and I think that’s working quite well. I do feel more sore overall than I have before I started rowing, so I have to make sure I rest enough, but it’s helping.
I never thought I would be able to write this sentence: “I rowed twice today.” Not just mild, mediocre, measured sets either. I rowed about as good as I could have ever rowed in 2019 or 2020. I stopped rowing as frequently in late 2019 when I had headaches, then got back to rowing just before covid, and now, I’m back to rowing. I’m limiting myself to 3-minute sets twice daily – and with many allowances to skip sets.
I needed to explore deeper bits of myself to figure out why I was having trouble completing my resume, and it turns out that it was just the physical stress of not having exercised for a while. I rowed my hardest set in years – March 2020 was my last good set – and set out to work on my resume and other areas of my life that have been disrupted through the universal experience of career instability.
I just finished my first week of work in over two years and despite feeling rather sore from a rigorous exploration of physical and mental work, I feel like I’m back in the swing of things. I picked a contract that was fairly physically intense, but, mentally not that intense. There are naturally context bits that I don’t want to explain publicly, at least until the contract is over, because of privacy and need-to-know information.
I completed two of the objectives that I had set out for myself a few days ago, and half-completed the third. I reached out to Molina after over a week to tell them exactly how I felt about their case management department, since they have, up until this point, done exactly two surface-level offerings of job resources without any additional effort, and, I am halfway done with my newly revised resume to focus on skills.
My-Yesterday, we did our monthly Zbashes over at Zdiscord, and someone suggested we all play Muck. Before we reached a point where we could beat the game, we were soft-locked out of the win, so we tried it again today. I hadn’t planned on doing a Zbash today because I wanted to focus on other things, but, it was good to have a social element like that, so we’ll probably do them more often. Weekly?
I overexerted myself quite significantly yesterday by moving that mostly-disassembled chair down the stairs and into the dumpster. If anything would have caused my FND to flare-up, it would probably have been that, but other than some exhaustion today, I feel fine. I didn’t think about it at the time, but that could’ve been bad for me – I was just focused on completing the objective. I was mentally and physically tired, but outside of that?
After going to PT and having a particularly adventurous session to free up the Levator Ani muscle that is overly-tight in my body, I decided to do the ambitious thing and take the rest of the chair and throw it into the dumpster. I could have left it in the trash pile, but why do something half-assed? Why not do it right? That left me exhausted but I’m glad I did it, physically and mentally.