Writing this five-part series about passing seven years of sobriety has been exhausting. Anxiety over current events hasn’t helped. Although I don’t see a reason why my sobriety would be broken between now and year eight, this degree of self-examination has left me feeling exhausted. When I write essays normally, it’s guiding along my perspective, rather than addressing my own inadequacies. I try to do this whenever possible to bleed out false pretenses and arrogance.
In previous entries into this series, I wrote about the events that inspired my sobriety – seeing Clutch. I’ve taken some meandries because how many thousands of words can one write about any topic? Well, there is still the matter of addressing the question of how often do I want to go back to those simpler times? Although my life is much better “clean and mostly serene,” there is one major disadvantage: you can’t fully relax.
I don’t have any media – video or audio – from my sobriety date where I saw Clutch live. The event happened. I’m not looking for evidence, rather, reinvigorating memories for pleasure. When people would trash-talk others for taking videos that they’d never watch, well, that might have been true for most, before, but now with minimum two-week self-isolation orders around the US and the world, I think we would look back at that media fondly now.
Without looking, I forget how many times I’ve seen Clutch live, just like many times I forget my sobriety date. Both, and many other examples, exist nebulously in my mind, imagination, and memories as events that happened that shaped me into who I am. Going outside, even trivially to throw out trash, can shape us, so not everything we do is overly serious. Still, the most noteworthy events tend to exist outside of arbitrary pedantries.
I was irresponsible, in mostly small ways, throughout most of March 2013, leading up to seeing Clutch at Showbox at the Market on the 29th. I drunk enough to not notice someone else do something more embarrassing than anything I was doing, to not notice the show, but to notice it was time for a lifestyle change. Over the years, I’ve returned to this event, as I will in years to come. Let’s instead consider totalities.
Before Tripping On The American Healthcare System, I generally thought most published medical information was good enough. Shouldn’t a book from the 70s about healthcare still be relevant today? Human bodies haven’t changed much, right? It’s our understanding of the human body, the mind, and how all that intertwines that has changed. If the doctors of today are reliant on the information of yesterday, they will be more likely to make harmful assumptions about patients.
I’m winding down in the amount of new information I’m learning from physical therapy. It’s good because my headaches are a mirage from two weeks ago, but that means I’m spending a majority of my hour, heavily-discounted thanks to my insurance, going through the same neck, shoulder, and arm exercises until I reach fatigue – solo. That’s fine and I’m glad I’m not dotted on, but still, it’s different than it was before where I was…
I have three more dietitian appointments but this will be the last headache-related entry since it’s been two weeks since I last had a headache and anything dietary seemed unrelated. We talked once more about anti-inflammatory foods and then moved into prebiotics and probiotics as part of good gut health. While unrelated to headaches, ironing out dietary factors will be a good step toward better health, including headache prevention. Diversifying what I eat will help.
Physical therapy has been great for me to address some of the hidden patterns I had physically learned that, over thirty-plus years, caused the issues that sent me almost unnecessarily through the American Healthcare System. How much of that could have been avoided by simple preventative maintenance through learning the basics in compulsory education and having readily available gyms at trivial prices available to all? Well, that might just be being sensitive about the topic…
The tough-as-nails colleagues I’ve worked with over the years have overall been the nicest. They may be gruff but that’s their exterior. My eyes have been bothering me at work although I haven’t strictly had a mindbender headache as I define it – an uncontrollable, unceasing headache lasting for more than thirty minutes – but I still was asked, “how’s the head?” It was just minor eye strain, and replied as such, but it was still nice.