One of the most dangerous things for my spinal condition, whatever it might be and however it affects me, is taking a hot bath then going to sleep in my bed. It’s fine if I sleep in a float tank. In fact, were it not for current events, I’d be going more often. Unfortunately, because I can’t, it’s a tough juggling act because if I don’t hot bathe correctly, my spine hurts excessively for days.
While waiting for the ENDLESS WAR Bookclub to finish reading Picture of Dorian Gray, I’ve been reading more works by Oscar Wilde, including The Importance Of Being Earnest. While all the media I meander through, and all the experiences I have, won’t directly influence “The Story,” there were three thoughts I had from the first 15 pages of the play: first, I don’t like how tending to Mr. Bunbury is used as an excuse for skipping.
Spoilers?: Minor [loathesomeness of characters]
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I had planned for this essay building topics in “The Story” to be a two-parter, but I’d already explored the thoughts I wanted to explore there, and I had a negative thought from physical therapy. A few weeks ago, I had a new physical therapist that treated my therapy like some sort of extreme workout. I was in excruciating pain. How easy it is to let others take advantage of you, even if you’re careful.
Spoilers?: Minor [physical therapy meandries]
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As I grasp at the straws of what has gone so wrong with my health for so long, I’m trying with all my strength to do any changes I can. I noticed at some point over the past month that my chair was low, and I realized my laptop was low, so I bought 16 bricks, wrapped them in paper, and it’s been a few days. While I haven’t felt significantly better, I’ve felt some improvements.
Through a strange circumstance, I found myself in the same grocery store on two separate days with two different masks, and I could smell the difference. I remembered back to when I worked in the thrift store, where they sprayed that “fresh” spray in the morning and throughout the day. It wasn’t that mechanical smell. It was like I could smell more of the nuances of the grocery store through the thinner black, non-hospital mask.
Two thoughts describe my birthday: dealing with the unnecessary pain of red tape and healing with those who were more considerate of my limited energy. The terrible pains encompassing the American Healthcare System don’t take rests, except on weekends, so they will call, email, schedule things, and they will proceed, which is nice, except, it’s all so tiring. I would have liked more personal, alone time, more energy to do more, but I enjoyed myself.
I went to bed after 1am and woke up before 5am. I didn’t need an alarm. I woke up with the same lower back pain I’ve been having for months. I have the relief of not having to fight for people to believe that I am having these problems, but I am still fighting for the help of getting these problems fixed. I’m not sure if I’m in better shape, because it’s not fixed yet…
Astute readers will recall my brain scan MRI from earlier this year. My brain was unremarkable to Neurologist-Number-Two, and my headaches were eventually determined to be caused by upper-back pains, but now that I’m experiencing frequent lower-back pain, who’s to say that there isn’t a nerve that’s not causing both upper and lower back pain? It’s possible. I’m no doctor, but considering how much my condition has degraded over the past three months, anything’s possible…
Four days ago, I did ten strokes without the bar on my rower, and stopped once my legs hurt. Throughout physical therapy, I went stationary biking for longer, with the secondary purpose of getting me back into rowing, with the primary purpose of reducing my lower back pain. Three days ago, I went for twenty-six strokes without the bar. I didn’t go yesterday or today because I went to PT and did other activities respectively.
I’ve been taking the nerve medication Topiramate and the muscle relaxant Tizanidine for a few days now. While I wouldn’t say they are a chemical love story, like PiHKAL or TiHKAL, they’ve begun offering some relief, perhaps. As I told the physical therapist, I felt at about a 5/10 for general health, compared to the 2/10 or 3/10 averages I was feeling throughout the past two months. If 10/10 is achieving the impossible, then I suppose 5/10 isn’t terrible, currently…