In October 2018, I wrote a pitch for Blah Blah’s Story Mode. I thought about how the story might begin and this spelling bee disaster story was what came to mind. This short story, along with all of my previous fiction drafts, will eventually see themselves realized within the game, although perhaps not exactly as the fully-realized narrative. Maybe more as unlockable content that can be read after winning certain conditions through playing the game?
[Screen: black, with a white, italicized sentence]
The Apokeylypse happened during the third annual Blah Blah Spelling Bee.
The screen fades from black to a massive auditorium. The walls have a gaudy blue carpet texture, the floors have a slightly-distasteful yellow shade, and there are red banners hanging from the ceiling that advertise the Blah Blah Spelling Bee. There are hundreds of kids sitting in cubicles, with one or more parents seated at on benches at either side of them, with vaguely-retro computers in front of them. The families are all pointed toward a stage where three people are standing on stage.
“Hello, students and parents of Keyloung Middle School! Welcome to the third annual Blah Blah Spelling Bee!”
The stage has red cloth dressing either side of it. There is a large screen with the words “Third Annual Blah Blah Spelling Bee” projected onto it. At the podium is a woman dressed as a school teacher, in business professional clothing. On stage left is a man also dressed as a school teacher, in business casual clothing, and on stage right is a man dressed in military clothing.
“My name is Mrs. Trish Keene, and I will be one of the moderators for this year’s spelling bee, along with Mr. John Keene, and the legendary, the magical, the wonderful,” she pauses briefly to flip through three pages of praises and chuckles away from the microphone, “the one, the only, the Blah Blah!”
The Blah Blah bows as the children in the audience clamor. Some have shirts with the Blah Blah featured on them, along with affirmational mottos that he has spoken at various events similar to this.
Mrs. Keene steps of the podium. The Blah Blah jumps to the microphone.
“Hey, Kadet Kids!” The cheering is louder. “Remember to stay in school and… stay kool!” The Blah Blah lifts his left arm up, pointing his left pointer finger toward the sky, places his right arm at a 45-degree angle, and gives a thumbs up with his right hand, mimicking the flag semaphore for the letter K. Some students and their parents in the audience stand and repeat this motion.
The Blah Blah lifts both of his arms in the air, smiles, and walks off the podium. The man walks on the podium.
“Alright, umm, time to begin.”
The man quickly walks off the podium as the screen changes from the Spelling Bee logo to gameplay footage of a rudimentary typing simulator. It is colorful and cartoonish. The Blah Blah is seated at the center of the screen at a circular school desk and walking toward him is one person with a word above his head.
“Alright, Kadet Kids, the rules of this game are simple! As people walk toward you, you must type the word over their head to teach them how to spell that word! This was a word that they might have misspelled recently, and they’re looking to the Blah Blah for help in learning how to spell this word correctly! The only problem is, he can only teach one person at a time how to spell correctly. If too many people walk toward him and lean on his desk for too long, he will become overworked and can no longer help anyone!”
As Mrs. Keene explains the rules in her monologue, the player can type in the words of up to three characters that walk toward the Blah Blah’s school desk.
“Alright, aspiring Kadet Kids! Let’s get ready to… Blah Blah!”
A large mechanical bee suddenly appears in the center of the room along with a blue cloud of smoke and the bee flies toward the stage. It hovers over the stage briefly before a platform shoots out of it and politely lands on the stage. Two people emerge from the platform. One rushes toward the podium while the other walks over to the Blah Blah.
“W-who are you?”
Mrs. Keene is joined on the podium by a villainous villainess.
“Hah, hah, ha! I am the Orthographimancer! I am tired of the Blah Blah and his attempts to ruin the perfection of language!”
Mrs. Keene looks off to stage right to a crew of backstage production people that are also confused by these events.
|Sources: My imagination.|
|Inspirations: I ran out of time to finish writing this, but the idea is that eventually there would be a conflict, and the Orthographimancer would destroy everything. I’ll probably reuse bits of this and scrap the rest.|
|Related: Other Blah Blah essays.|
|Written On: October 8th [30 minutes]; April 22nd [intro, 5 minuts]|
|Last Edited: 10/17/19 [Blah Blah’d, otherwise – First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|