[Media Meandry] First Variety Stream

I played a bunch of NES games on stream today and had a great time. Not just because my viewership peaked at 20 viewers, so there was a feeling of hype over the influx of new people, but because if I can stream, that means my health is in good enough standing to where I can write. I haven’t been able to stream, or do much of anything, the past few days. It’s been almost miserable.

I’m enjoying these meandries into random videogames.

Friend-of-the-stream/website, BellaBeluga, said in one of their livestreams that they like livestreaming because it’s almost like scheduling time for fun. While there’s probably close to one hour of menial mental preparation and 15 minutes of computing preparation required to do any livestream, it’s rewarding to hang out with friends and chat about several different topics. I’ve learned some time ago that the videogames are almost secondary to the conversations and hang-out-itude aspects. Most people will stop by to hang out because they know you and some people will stop by to check out the game. Once I figured out a good balance to that, sure, the game enthusiasts aren’t so interested, but the rest will have a good chance to chat about anything.

It’s almost like a good supplement to writing.

I was worried that if I livestreamed, as I did for over four hours today, that it would take away from the rest of my day, and certainly, it does make it rough for me to write in the final hour of the day, but I’ve been doing that regardless of whether I livestream or not. As my health issues find themselves closer to a possible solution, and if I’m lucky a resolution, I can start living life again. I’ve been stuck in a somewhat comfortable pain zone over the past few months, where I have to scrape by physically but I have all the mental time I need to do whatever I want, ranging from figuring out my recreational interests to even starting this whole livestreaming hobby. It’s legally a hobby because as soon as I monetize it, unless all the legal paperwork is squared away regarding my healthcare, I could be royally fucked and I’d prefer something more casual.

I want to try doing more livestreams going forward.

How will I balance livestreaming and writing as recreational and avocational pursuits? Eventually, I would like to combine them, and it seems that with some effort and patience, I could turn it into some sort of decent possible vocation, but if we’re talking about long-term plans, I need to get out of this expensive apartment-mansion, move somewhere cheaper, and figure out my healthcare/insurance situation. If we’re thinking in the most positive terms and my spine recovers, then I would still need to be mindful of insurance propositions. I can’t be a no-insurance contractor again, because if that 10% chance of spinal reinjury happens as that most-likely-trustworthy retiring spine doctor told me after my surgery, then I could bend over properly and I could slip another disc, or something else could happen to my spine.

Let’s say I figure that out…

Well, it’d be nice to have casual variety streams like this where I play various games and chat with people about various topics. Other than randomly finding myself feeling somewhat anxiously flustered talking about physical videogame collections as they relate to YouTubers perhaps artificially inflating the markets while playing a tricky game, I had a nice, relaxed time. I explored many topics during the livestream that the audience asked or that I mentioned myself. If there’s anything that can overlap between the livestreaming and writing experience, it’s the general stream-of-consciousness experience that translates well. These essays may be more obscure for others to read, but I do the same thing live, just verbally instead of through text.

That said, I prefer writing to livestreaming more.

I enjoy this process of thinking and writing words, but, everything should have some degree of balance. If I do a livestream, as I realized with my recent art streams, I haven’t had the writing structure behind it to dump out some of my thoughts, so I’ve been left feeling almost overwhelmed with how much I have left to go, when really, it doesn’t matter that much. What does matter is that I’m trying to make sure my body and mind are as relaxed as possible at all times. The reason why this is important is because, at all times, we are inundated with oversensation from every angle.

Even livestreaming is an overwhelming experience as a broadcaster or watcher.

Overwhelming isn’t quite the best word for it, but it was the first one that came to mind; all-encompassing. It is the ultimate interactive experience, in that time can fly by without even noticing. I can explore many topics and games throughout variety streams especially to find myself wearing different character sprites, being different videogame characters, or finding myself in various sitautions. It’s fun, but if my posture is not perfect or if my bladder flares up, then I could find myself overly anxious.

I’ll conclude with a thought from a friend of mine, Sol Chevalsky.

“People cut off from the woods have a spiritual wound that they can’t heal, so they use drugs as a salve.[1]” Although we were speaking about cannabis, I think this statement can more widely apply to a variety of topics rather than just “drugs.” As much as I would want to livestream more often, I should also remember that just outside of the apartment-mansion is the minor forest. For another year, at minimum, I am less than 5 minutes away from touching a tree, which was something Sol had mentioned as a major problem with society. I can almost agree. My next retro stream will be returning to Zelda 1, which, while fun, is more of a sort of obligatory backlog completion than something I’m loving.

Maybe when I downsize and move, I could livestream some writing sessions in the outdoors?

Quotes: [1] Sol Chevalsky is a buddy of mine that I’ve mentioned a few times and has no real social media presence.
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: These sorts of things are all fun and games, excuse the pun, but it’s important to keep a level head about things. After I finished writing this essay, I was hanging out in a livestream where someone came in that started writing some really weird things. They focused on me because I was telling them to chill out.
Related: Other Media Meandry essays.
Picture: Screenshot from the video.
Written On: 2021 February 11 [11:07pm to 11:43pm]
Last Edited: 2021 February 11 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]


My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.