Why do you meander through the media you buy? Now, you can digitally buy any media you want, but when me and my cohost/g’host Matty were getting into music and other media, we had to buy it or go to media stores. Our podcast was about media stores, but really, how it’s like to work at a media store is the side-point to why we buy into the media that we do and …maybe don’t.
I buy into media meandries based on what they offer.
If a band speaks to me, it’s because their lyrics or music says something about the human condition that I can relate to, and bands that don’t speak to me have lyrics or music that doesn’t speak to my perspective of the human condition. I’m writing this album while listening to Evanescence, and although I heard singles from it frequently, this was the first time I’ve heard it at length, and maybe the last. Not out of any major disrespect. It’s just the music on Fallen isn’t as relatable to me as, say, Nirvana. Although Nirvana’s lyrics tend to be more nonsense than not, that’s kinda the point, because they navigated through establishment culture with such an anti-establishment perspective that their music… well, see how much more I was able to say about Nirvana through my own passion for their music?
I can relate more to Nirvana than Evanescence.
Working around media doesn’t exactly mean that you can have deep conversations with Nirvana with strangers. That’s the fun ideal, of course, but the reality is equivalently listening to hours of Evanescence. It’s the thing that might happen with any degree of work, where you get into it thinking X and then it turns out to be Y, so much so that it seems easier to churn-and-burn than deal with the Y-factor of the job, but a lot of that can be turned around with changing perspectives and not letting the little nuances bother you so much.
I was thinking about this bit hours after the podcast.
From my perspective, someone in the chat was asking frequent questions out of curiosity, then brought up a question that he asked another streamer and commented at length about. I got annoyed by this, answered the question, and told him to calm down. That was probably closest to the first bit of un-cool-ness I’ve had on a livestream yet, so I wonder what it was that was interrupting my calm. I guess it was the degree to which we went off-topic, but, it was something where I think the podcast was perfectly fine because as it was in the directions we went, because media influences culture in many more ways than just “I bought X album or sold Y shirt to Z customer and here’s how it was like,” because anyone that works in retail can have similar stories to that.
That question is too big for me to answer easily by stream-of-consciousness.
I’ve imagined what would happen about troll-like behavior from strangers, but from an over-eager communicator acquaintance in my own greater communities, his troll-like behavior was from him being tired and pushing himself for some reason or another. We talked afterward, I apologized, he apologized, and it’s fine in that regard, but short of relistening to that portion of the VOD, I’m not sure what I might have done to reduce my anxiety. The anxiety might have been focusing too much on “remaining on-topic” or keeping the podcast on one topic, instead of just letting it roll.
I wonder if I should just go topicless with these podcasts going forward?
Having one-word topic conversations might be too stifling. It’s like predicting the full of the content and remaining on-topic throughout an entire conversation. That could be closer to it. Talking about culture at length does relate to media, but something that I thought was off-topic maybe doesn’t relate. Whatever happened, outside of that – and there is always a negative thought like this that lingers in the self-improvement/self-betterment side of myself that lingers perhaps more than necessary. There are times when I make full-stop mistakes that need correction, whether others tell me or not, and there’s something like this where there is plenty of ambiguity, and maybe I’m beating myself up over it.
Yeah, I won’t go digging much more – even for the timestamp for you, sorry.
Instead, my mind is blank, and I’ve run out of things to think about outside of the podcast itself, which I had fun doing. Talking like this is like meeting someone and having a deep conversation with them, the only difference is that we did it live in front of friends and strangers. It’s great having an avenue and audience to communicate ideas, so maybe I worry about letting people down, but really, outside of vulgar offenses that none of us did although we talked about deep topics, the only person I have to worry about letting down is myself. If I’m not “on my own side” then I can’t advocate for myself in any area from my health to even doing things like this podcast.
I think I’ve done things well for anyone listening either live or in the future.
I know I ask plenty of people to not just read my essays and listen/watch my podcasts/livestreams, but when I do that, it’s my process of laying down all of my cards in my life to figure out where these mistakes and vulnerabilities are to improve on them. If I can make them into media that I can then sell, well, that’s an ideal situation, right? Being able to do what you love, whether it’s selling music from your favorite bands, selling music as your favorite band, or selling your favorite brands, when there are no incongruencies between who you are, who you present yourself to be, and what your goals are, everyone wins. Did I have incongruencies during that moment prompting thinking meandries?
I feel the podcast went well.
|Sources: My personal experiences.|
|Inspirations: Whenever I write about what I do, it usually depends on more of what I’m doing than just the one thing I did.|
|Related: Other Media Meandry essays.|
|Screenshot: From the overlay with some added text.|
|Written On: 2021 June 17 [10:12pm to “maybe doesn’t relate at 10:35pm; 10:38pm to 10:48pm]|
|Last Edited: 2021 June 17 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|