Now that my health has improved, I want to complete this arena picture. It’s not so much of an albatross hanging around my neck as a sign of bad luck for not having completed it as much as something that I think of as a fun opportunity for networking. As I explained in the video, various groups will cluster together, and from there, people will make new friends over mutual interests, hobbies, or anything noteworthy.
I enjoyed the process overall – drawing, chatting, and livestreaming.
I didn’t “do” much overall but I completed two main chatters and drew some cats, but, I also chatted about a fair amount of complex topics. It might be easy to feel like it’s awkward to talk about PG-13 versus R environments, but, I saw Genocyber before I was 13, so the perception of what is or is not off-limits for kids isn’t really applicable for me. I don’t do anything other than tell it as I see it to whoever wants to listen. If some teenager is going to stop by, get listen, and get mad or have their parents get mad, well, that’s a battle I’ll either face now or when I write “The Story.” I feel like I articulated my point well enough, despite my fatigue from four-plus hours of talking, drawing, and still dealing with mild, minor spine pain, as the idea that 13+ audiences will sneak in anyways, and, one of the smartest people I’ve ever talked to online started getting big online when he was 11. So who’s to say what about age or anything?
What made me happy, too, is something incidental.
One of my newer friends in the Twitch environment, Beigo RiceFox, has a fursona and at least up until I really started to look at my own biases and prejudices, it was always easy to make fun of furries. Everyone I had met inside of that community had seemed to express certain characteristics, so, naturally, there’s a form of internal bias that pops up, right? You might even think to yourself ‘why would I bother talking to others, because the people I’ve talked to in this group have all acted like X?’ This was something we talked about early on – I thanked him for helping me learn to overcome this bias of mine. But what was cool was that as I drew his fursona, as just another character here, everyone enjoyed how the drawing turned out. He’s just another character here, right? Nothing weirder than seeing a square dude battling a skeleton in front of a 2D face, right?
There are still biases of my own perception I need to overcome.
That’s where doing it live helps.
There’s the attitude of perfectionism that distracts many people from even starting. Just today I saw a comment from my favorite living writer tim rogers about writing first drafts. It’s better to get it out there than doing it perfectly. Same here. I could spend a million hours drawing this to perfection, and I may need to spend at least 10 more hours on it, but I won’t spend more time than necessary on it. I’ll screw around and have fun as ways to relax, but it took me 4.5 hours to do what I drew today, and not a whole lot of that could have been condensed. Had I not livestreamed it, sure, it might have taken less time since I’d focus on the art and narrating my thoughts, but I doubt it would have been much less than 3 or 3.5 hours.
The stopping point, then, becomes when it’s too filled with people.
I may take some time offline to make more progress on some of the characters, either cleaning up some of them or starting others, since not everyone is there all the time. Even those who are there weren’t fully prepared with their ideas, so, I moved onto ones that were there or ones that I felt like working on. Since my health is recovering, my employer is clamoring to have me back, which I am more than happy to oblige, after my chiropractor and pain management doctor give the OK. I’d prefer to get this done before that point, since my time will be significantly more limited by then, so, I might try to work on this drawing more often – even for one or two hours offline between longer streams.
I’ve also thought about my long-term, full-time work, stream schedule.
Given an average 5-day workweek, I would probably only stream once a week, maybe twice if I’m feeling ambitious. Four-hour streams tend to be the high-end of what I can muster. I wear out with fatigue at around the three-hour mark, so if I learn to moderate myself over the next few weeks until I get that return-to-work approval, then I should be in better shape. I don’t think I could make a daily one-hour stream work, especially since I have so many other projects to close out, but I feel like something like this drawing could either be a good on-stream or offline recording project to do to help me manage my time.
It’s so easy to stream “as long as possible.”
When that happens, though, I begin to feel burned out by how often I might be around something. I played too much Zelda 1 so I felt burned out by it. I should have stopped earlier, but the trick is, when the going gets good, it’s tough to stop. Writing that, though, is a good reminder that there are ways that I can remind myself to make subtle changes. I have my cellphone holder – I can use that to time myself. When that timer goes off, it goes off annoyingly to where I have to physically stop it. I can’t click a tab and keep going, forgetting the intention of the timer. Since I read for 30 minutes daily, write for around that much, I could even do 30-minute draw sessions.
|Sources: My personal experiences.|
|Inspirations: Writing more about the stream than not this time.|
|Related: Other Media Meandry essays.|
|Picture: From the stream and what I drew.|
|Written On: 2021 May 04 [10:45pm to 11:09pm]|
|Last Edited: 2021 May 04 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|