In ENDLESS WAR, the highest honor is winning a princep, an item that you can have custom-made for your use. It gives you status buffs and never leaves your inventory. You win a princep by contributing a winning contest entry. I accidentally won five times. I’ve been through some difficult times recently, so I want to remember these good vibes. I want to capture, as best I can, my feelings while watching the livestream results.
I did miss my first entry, but I’ll watch it later.
The other four were the ones that I spent the most amount of time on. The feeling I have isn’t that I won and that I’m superior to everyone else. It’s more a feeling of recognition and validation within a community that, over the past few months, I’ve grown to appreciate. As I’ve been dealing with my spine healing, I’ve had the time to pour the pain I otherwise would have spent in solitude with others around the world, laughing at stupid situations that come up.
Those events make me feel more connected.
For me, these contest entries, which I’ll write about more over the course of the next few days, represent a sort of transitional period for me from art as just something I did occasionally to now something that I can actively enjoy. It might mean less writing time, but I’ve built up two months of writing backlogs. I can afford myself a little time to rest and relax, now especially, and if a community – no matter how small – appreciates the work I do, then that can help me develop my talents.
My new favorite version of my in-game character is from this picture.
The picture featured in Rule of Cool shows my little “:]” smiley that you may have seen over the years personified, but in a situation where he’s wearing sunglasses, but, they don’t quite fit. He’s still just vibing, as the two moderators of the contest and the game said in the livestream, which I think about sums it up. In a game where gang violence exists, I’ve seen a growing amount of people – myself included – that prefer just hanging out. I’m not overly interested in challenging others to duels to the death. I may engage in some activities related to my player style of Ghost/Staydead, but unlike some of my other Ghost/Staydead counterparts, I feel bad stealing some people’s slime.
Besides, I’ve completed my entries for the leaderboard contest.
I don’t need to play so aggressively now, and the next contest is in regards to food vendors in ENDLESS WAR. I already have everything lined up from a conceptual perspective, so I just have to plot out how I’m going to draw it – my first comic, consisting of maybe a few to less than ten pages, and go from there. I’m already imagining how I want to draw it out, but I have to remember a few things, which is where patience is key.
As cool as this next idea might be, I still have other responsibilities.
For as much fun as drawing might be, I do still like the process of writing more. Drawing, for me, is more of a hobby that lets me idly listen to podcasts or long-form audio-narratives without thinking much. I can turn my brain off and let my hands work. When I write, I am working out logistical, mental, physical, emotional, strategical, or myriad other problems in my head. Part of the problem is when the mind overreacts to situations.
You might be looking to win “another” princep after you’ve won your first one.
Well, while it’s good to aim for the highest prizes in games, it’s good, too, to temper those emotions, and for me, writing about those emotions – positive or negative – is a good start. Writing can help me process how I’m feeling and why I’m feeling that so I don’t go crazy. For instance, I scoped out all the logistics of my next entry the day the contest ended, and I have roughly two weeks to make another entry, so I can sketch out some designs and see what works, but I also have some other ENDLESS WAR projects I want to work on or finish.
That’s in addition to other life projects.
I feel like we should tackle the projects that interest us, complete the ones that we feel are worthwhile, and for the ones that drag us down, either put in the last bit of effort to complete them, or archive them as-is. That way, we can proceed with fresher slates. I have myriad projects I still need to complete, once my health is in a good spot, but until then, I’m in a good spot in life. I have a community that likes my art and companionship, which is a nice thing to know that when I jump on that I have some degree of positive rapport with many people.
It’s not all smiles and tears within this world of gang violence, but it’s close enough for me.
After all, I still have to design the princep, which I was thinking I should either have as EarthBound or be based on it somehow. One joke thing about my character in the world is that he’s smaller than all the other characters, and along with just vibing, he’s just there having a good old time. Initially, I thought about him being a journalist sent to cover “the Endless War,” so maybe I should role with that theme, too, because I don’t like the idea of having the only copy of EarthBound in this game. It seems selfish.
I mean, this is me reflecting on myself winning a contest, I suppose.
But even so, it feels – in my mind – rude to consider taking away someone else’s opportunity to win. It should be the best rather than the first winner. I guess what I liked most was seeing my friends vibing with me as well…
Everyone putting :] in the chat.
|Sources: My personal experiences.|
|Inspirations: My personal experiences.|
|Related: Other Media Meandry essays.|
|Picture: Screenshot from the livestream.|
|Written On: 2020 July 24 [11:1111111111111111pm to 11:50pm]|
|Last Edited: 2020 July 24 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|