To write “The Story,” I must first do many other things. I first wrote Novel 01, and before I could write Novel 02, life took me down a near-year-long path of dealing with spine pain – the worst pains I’ve ever felt for the longest stretches of my life. Far worse than any troll-like behavior, that pain taught me fortitude through the storms of life. A few weeks after positive health events, I’m well enough to record again.
Spoilers?: None [nothing fiction-writing specifically…]
I think this past near-year was not wasted for some key reasons.
Chief among them was meeting all the people along the way that helped shape me into the person I am today. I have broken free from most of my addictive personality traits in relation to media, so I don’t spend hours a day watching videos or playing videogames as forms of escape from my reality. I learned that months ago, so there’s nothing specifically negative about the Twitch Retro community there, although I did recently realize that I’ve been spending more time helping the algorithms of my friends rather than actually hanging out, so I would idle in their streams to help them out – at my own sacrifice. What I mean is that if I’m there because I want to, good, but if I’m just there because I’m compulsively scrolling through streams to have going, then, yeah, it does help them but it harms me at the same time.
Breaking free from this cycle will help me get back into the cycle properly.
I may end up doing tolerance-breaks from Twitch and other media platforms once in a while, where for maybe as little as a weekend or as long as a few weeks, I’ll “unplug.” I may do this more often, especially as I have been gifted my health back, thanks to two spine injections some weeks back. Over the past month especially, but over the past few months, I have lost much of my ability to write fiction or even contemplate fiction at length. My focus was broken frequently by my spine’s endless pains. Now that I’m feeling better and doing as much as I can to avoid these pains again, I feel like I can bounce back in a big way.
What is important is figuring out the nuances and details of this.
I feel like a majority of my infrastructure builds in Minecraft should be done offline, because they often require complex logistics and deep concentration, which, should be fun for listeners looking for passive entertainment, but for active entertainment, I can do lighter builds that might equate out to changing out graybox blocks for other colors – if there are any interior decorators or anyone with equivalent privy information in the audience, then it can be more collaborative than building random blocks while deep in thought. The offline streams, like what I did today, can be good since I can brainstorm out ideas. Today’s 2-hour and 18-minute stream, without having the automatic subtitles complete yet, could roughly total 4,000 words, if I can write a 1,000-word essay in 30 minutes. I talk as fast as I write, I write exactly how I talk, and with the two working in parallel, I am able to crank out work that is far more comprehensive about my mindset for what I want to do with these streams and my writing in general.
Today’s recording was less about fiction writing and more about advertising.
I don’t mean that in a negative way, but, I feel like it is important to do things that are valuable for others. During the last stream, I accidentally found something that clicked with my audience in the form of a theater of props and a scenario that was cathartic for me, but even more so for my audience. Long-term streamers were mainly in the audience and by me sharing an example of troll-like behavior, these friends of mine were able to feel the catharsis of hearing a difficult situation being handled. They shared stories, and, they later shared with others their positive experiences with my stream.
I helped them as they helped me.
Throughout the most difficult period of the most difficult time of my life, they offered places of respite in the storms of my spine’s health. They let my mind’s constant reaction to spine pain rest. Why would I not offer them – and others – something in return? One example I thought of during the recording that drove my desire to do this was a broadcaster that during their stream did not handle the maybe troll-like behavior of a person spoiling bits of a game. They threw what I prescribed to be a temper tantrum about the situation.
Watching that “drama” wasn’t comfortable for me as a first-and-last-time viewer.
I tried looking for both sides of the scenario to make up my own mind on the event, but I could not, so I left without even noting the broadcaster’s username, but that was a situation where the broadcaster did not have the emotional toolkit necessary to handle such situations. We learn them by having difficult interactions, or, by hearing clear examples in media. Movies, literature, or livestreams can teach us elements of morality that we don’t need to experience. If I can teach others how I handle bad behavior, or if others come to me with story ideas…
Well, hey, wasn’t that interesting?
I may not have been able to market my two-million-plus words of writing on their face, but these years of writing in obscurity have helped me figure out my voice – both written and literal – to then share my perspective with others. When – now, not if – I share my stories, both real-world experiences and fictional events – with the world, I can do so using effective formats. I can write my fiction offline, then edit online. I can let the great unknown be however many eyes they will be on my literature.
Together, we can develop ways of self-actualizing our dreams, right now.
|Sources: The Story’s Imaginarium.|
|Inspirations: Writing about my recording.|
|Related: Essays helping build “Novel 02.” This novel is formally called “A Story About Self-Confidence: Something About Anxiety,” and is a sequel to “Novel 01,” which is part of the Sammohini Arc of “The Story.”|
|Written On: 2021 April 08 [11pm to 11:25pm]|
|Last Edited: 2021 April 08 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]|