I might read my 50-cent copy of Dune someday, but I’ll certainly rewatch Jodorowsky’s Dune first. Science fiction doesn’t do much for me. Analyzing scientific statistics against a starry backdrop doesn’t excite me. What human element does that story convey where I will have become a better person for experiencing it? I don’t have ten-thousand years to live. I’ve gotta make this whole life thing count. This novel’s purpose might contain elements of that drive.
Moreso, its purpose is developing self-confidence.
Throughout thirty days at Eville Medical in the Sammohini Arc of “The Story,” Sammohini will encounter one central challenge and will be faced against multitudinous smaller challenges that threaten to upset her mindset. How will she handle these scenes? I’m going to have to write it before you can read it. My plans, based either on pre-construction through research or unlocking the events from the Imaginarium, do excite me. I feel like I’ve tapped into something important with this.
Why would I waste my time on something trivial for even a month?
That could give me enough time to read part of Dune! I last played Final Fantasy 6 in the twilight of my childhood, last turned on my save file perhaps nearly twenty years ago now. I would want to revisit the Dinosaur Forest. I am listening to “Terra’s Theme” and the nostalgia, which is to say reliving the past through the present to help shape the future, reminds me that there are many things I’d like to do even if not for self-improvement. The game wasn’t foundational to the development of my personality or avocation, like EarthBound, but it’s fun! OK; I developed the discipline and mindset to write my third essay today by defeating enemy after enemy around Jidoor, specifically, in 1995.
I want this as-of-yet-unnamed novel to have a similar effect.
Although I write many words, I always write intending to go from our starting point-A to a concluding point-B. Throughout this process of writing about how I’ll write this novel, I’ve become a person more likely to write the novel than not, which is what I would hope to convey to readers. My early frustrations, if suffered through, could lead to success. You can’t let those sorts of physical or mental distractions bother you. If your eyes are on a prize so valuable to you that you’re willing to go all the way, as I am with mine, then writing these 17 essays should be a good start and proving grounds.
This is where I launch myself toward my goals.
There is no other alternative for me than to do what I can to mentally prepare myself to begin this writing task. I’m not writing this novel for NaNoWriMo or any sort of external reward. As much as I’d like to ride the waves of success that could be afforded to me if I participated and succeeded in this goal, the novel should stand as a summarization of all that I’ve worked on throughout my life up to this point. I have years left in me, I hope, and part of that is through constant challenges that exceed our expectations.
Can we do what we’re asked to do when we’re asked to do it?
If we can’t, what can we do to collaborate with others, figure out how to pick ourselves back up, and achieve the results we want?
Sammohini will be an easy enough example of all of this.
This brief side story of hers, in this novel here, will have little impact on the overall narrative of “The Story,” but like Final Fantasy 7 – a game that I still enjoy thanks in small part to Let’s Mosey, which has elements like the music or the slums of Midgar that have been ingrained in my memories forever – I feel like I can add these stories in my imagination or Imaginarium to the world. If we can better ourselves through experiencing fascets of reality including fiction, why can I contribute something?
We can all use just a little bit more self-confidence.
For me, self-confidence doesn’t mean arrogance. It’s not like removing the “I” from a situation removes me from it. What self-confidence means is that you are willing to stand up against what’s wrong in the good fight for what you believe in. You might falter. You might hurt people by accident, but if you act with self-confidence and respect toward others, I’ve found throughout this crazy life I’ve led so far, that some people resonate with it. Self-confidence means willing to admit when you’ve made a mistake not through some glorification of the ego – quite the opposite – because through admitting your faults, you can help yourself or others arrive toward a future better than the one they had.
I will, of course, write this less abstractly.
I’ve been writing an average of 3000 words daily for the better part of the last week to clear off my slate of all writing obligations so that in November, I can soak in all of this world that I can and spit it back out into this novel. I will go to bed soon, wake up, re-read my fiction that tells of elements in the Sammohini Arc, then at midnight of November 1st, I’ll attempt my first long-form experiment in fiction writing and my first attempt at writing fiction in months.
To say that I’m trepidatious would be correct.
However, I’m also feeling about as good as I’ve ever been in my life. My insecurities are minimal. I haven’t sweated the small stuff as much since I took on this writing assignment. I’ve addressed what I needed to address quicker. My mind has been entirely focused on my end goals, short-term and long-term. If I succeed, I hope to create something that can stand an example of how we can explore our insecurities and develop self-confidence. If I fail to complete it entirely by November 30th, I’ll have already built up the self-confidence to roll with the failure.
Either way, yes!
|Sources: My personal and professional experiences.|
|Inspirations: My final entry in this novel-writing preparation. I intended to guide myself as a writer, and you as a reader, toward my novel-writing goal and maybe toward yours as a novel-reader.|
|Related: Other 2019 Novel writings.|
|Picture: A template is only as good as its meaning.|
|Written On: October 31st, 2019 [39 minutes, from 6:25am to 7:04am, WordPress]|
|Last Edited: October 31st, 2019 [First draft; final draft for the Internet, Grammarly]|