Before web-metting my pain doctor today, I prepared my questions, and my recording/transcribing software. I’ve done this before, and last time he was fine with it, but this time I was asking him hard-ball questions. I never got around to formally editing the first transcription, but I spent the time to transcribe this one, because there were certain little bits of the conversation that were too exciting to leave without the evidence of casual recording/transcribing.
When I think of “The Story” within the contexts of my life, usually, John and Trishna come to life in subtle ways. When I, for example, am resting my spine in bed after doing the best that I can to work through my constant spine pain, and when I close my eyes, my mind opens to their bedroom. It is a large bedroom and every morning, John asks Trishna some variation of “how’s your spine?”
Bullshit Jobs provided me with some hidden information about the nature of the American Healthcare System – and perhaps the Canadian and UK equivalents. It’s provided some context about some of the many experiences I’ve had, ranging from my own time working in healthcare to being a patient. My experiences dealing with my first primary care physician’s office, where I told their office manager to stop weaponizing HIPAA to inconvenience me, could summarize this system’s bullshit.
It’s unfortunate to consider, but my health returned to its pre-injections state almost fully today. I still have some of the lingering problems from the past week as my body decomposed back to its zombified state that the injections temporarily relieved me from. I wonder, then, if my physical health worsened after all that – were the injections just a big waste of time? I got some of my life back, temporarily, but at what cost?
On Monday, April 12 2021, my spine flared up worse than it ever had before. I messaged my doctor’s office to ask them for advice. They said they’d send the doctor a note. I messaged on Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Nothing. On Friday, I told them that if I didn’t hear back by the end of the day, in two messages, I would be forced to assume the doctor is telling me to go elsewhere. No doctor’s message.
It’s taken most of today, sleeping, dealing with new and old pains, and reaching out to people to ask for their help only to receive no response, but I’m feeling a little better. I’ve regained some of my appetite, even though it by no means is anywhere strong enough to risk my health to go get fast food, so a lot of it is me just sitting here, waiting for the headache to mercifully subside.
How many days will I spend in bed waiting for long-term relief? It’s rough because as much as the doctor would like me to be up and at it, running marathons, or whatever, I can barely summon the energy to do much of anything through this spine pain. It’s not preventing me from being able to be mobile much at all. I dare say it’s worse now than before the injections, so it’s not fun.
Over the past day, I’ve come to terms with the notion that my two-week respite from pain has ended, and my body has rezombified. It’s rough dealing with that idea. At least before, it was a subtle decline over months. This was like being knocked down suddenly over the course of one day. I even still feel like I can go buy groceries or fast food, but, I think that would be unwise to do.
Thanks to Twitch and Zdiscord, I’ve met many close friends, friends, acquaintances, and strangers that might or might not help me write “The Story” in their own ways. Some wouldn’t offer direct help, help in any literary sense, or anything other than maybe casual conversations. That’s helpful. There are others that are great for deep meandering philosophical, literary, or even the sort of conversations that keep your spirits up as you’re guided through idée fixe.
I had a two-week vacation from pain starting on March 26, 2021. During that time, I was able to do many physical and mental tasks that made me feel like a human again. They don’t tell you how long the spine injections last, probably because doctors hope it’s a one-and-done procedure, but roughly two weeks later I started to notice some pain sensations. They were minor until today. What tomfoolery did I aggressively do? Dunno… Stand wrong?