[Rowing Machine] 2018: Week 43 {228.0}

Fitness has taught me mental endurance. If it’s a dull, external pain, like some heavy rain, that’s different than some sharp, internal pain, like some back pang. Those dull pains will usually be fine when you push through them, with regret being the only pain point, whereas sharper pain should always be respected and addressed. When I learned to tell the difference, it made enduring cold rain for a set more worthwhile than staying home.

I can always snuggle up later.

I’m writing this rowing machine column essay in bed after having rowed a good set after being in heavy rain for about fifteen minutes or so. Part of my inspiration for getting out there in that rain, which isn’t really my favorite climate, was so I could write about my thoughts on that external excuse grantor.

I could’ve snuggled up instead.

If there’s one thing I know about myself, it’s that without a sufficient reward, I will not do something. Writing this essay is reward enough, not just for the short-term pleasure of writing out my thoughts but also the long-term pleasure of having another essay done ahead of schedule so I can plan out future updates.

Maybe I’ll design a chart with my rowing stats?

Some kind of chart with data going back since my last full-stack update, with the pasted-in tweets and my thoughts on various topics. Those updates took hours to write, whereas I’m halfway through this week’s update and though it feels like cheating it gives me time to brainstorm options with fitness and ease in mind.

Even keeping tweets straight is tricky.

These are all external excuses though, because as long as I’m doing the work and holding myself accountable to some external system, I’ll be good. Part of the reason for those mammoth labyrinthine updates was to keep a focus on fitness. If a significant chunk of my writing was focused around writing, I thought it’d help my fitness focus.

It’s more about the internals.

I wanted to row this evening. That should be enough of an internal reason to go, right? Fortunately, I had other internal reasons compelling me to go, even without being able to write my thoughts down here that drove me to suit up and brave the fierce elements to get there. The only thing was, as I prepared for the worst, none of it came.

Just like everything in life.

When I prepare for worst-case scenarios, usually nothing of that sort happens. Those external fears usually get the better of us, so that’s when I look at whether it’s a dull pain like some rain or a sharp pain like a back pang. If it’s just a dull pain, usually some distractions will help reorient myself to get ready to go, whereas a sharper pain could dull itself out with some time, so it just depends on the situation. I don’t let the pros and cons weigh me down. I just ask myself:

What do I want most?

Endtable:
Quotes: None.
Sources: My fitness experiences.
Inspirations: Explained in-line. Though I had my big format from before, I’m enjoying writing quick essays, so I may continue to do this through the end of the year, then start that off again fresh.
Related: Past weekly column entries. – Up 2 pounds, probably from stress.
Pictures: Generic picture to save time, but with a quick drawing of two buildings – the one in the upper left with a rowing machine and the one in the lower right implying the hotel room where I was staying – and rain in between.
Written On: October 1st [30 minutes]
Last Edited: October 14th [0 minutes]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.