[Rowing Machine] 2019: Week 49 {213.5} “Celebratory Victory Eating”

Whenever we accomplish something, we always throw a party, have celebratory foods, and live it up. What if, instead, we celebrate just as we do when we normally would, with a bit of fanfare, some appreciation for doing a job well done, but not as much of the celebratory binge-eating that causes all sorts of physical and mental problems long-term? We can still enjoy the celebration, but having a sugary cake isn’t all that necessary.

These sorts of rewards are social conditioning.

We’re encouraged to believe that for every celebration, we should have some kind of sugary thing. I think the intention is that you get an immediately positive reaction to eating such things. Cake tastes good!! The thing is, though, it’s not really going to help you feel better in the long-term or even the short-term. Those were empty calories that didn’t really need to be eaten.

An occasional snack might seem nice.

However, often what will happen is that we’ll indulge in more than just that one snack. A celebratory slice of cake, for me, opens up my mental flood gates to where it’ll be alright for me to consume something sweeter than normal later, or my mind will subconsciously reach for a second serving later on in the day. It’s like a sweet flood gate opens, where I’ve felt the relief of a sugary snack once through celebration, so through pain, I can once again enjoy that same sensation.

That’s where celebrating even in the good times can be tough.

We want to be resilient and we want to not have our lives be tempted by fates, and a major part of that is by allowing the positives and negatives to roll over us equally. I like to capture the positives in life; I don’t let them get to my head. I like to live through the negatives in life; I don’t let them get to my head. My life would ideally be one where everything is taken as it is, as absurd as this whole life thing is, and with as much attention given as needed to accomplish the task at hand.

For eating, that means eating what’s good, but not what’s fantastic.

I forget the last time I’ve had a slice of plain cake that you might see at any birthday party or celebration. Same with one of my favorite foods, tiramisu, which if we’re going from memory, the last time I remember having some was part of my farewell party from one job a few years ago. I can’t recall having it since; no, wait, I do remember having it the last time I went to a particular buffet that serves underwhelming little bite-sized bites.

See? I’d rather keep the cake’s taste in memory from the going away party.

That’s why I don’t really consider snacks too important. When I get snacks on my desk from work now, I always give them to away others. I had one of my favorite snacks sitting on my desk when I arrived at work in an innocently cartoonish packaging. Rather than allow the sugary temptation to seep into my imagination, wondering about when the last time I had them was…, I immediately put the candies onto someone else’s desk, and focused on what I needed to do professionally so that I could clear off my plate to work on my own stuff.

For most people, having a bit of fun is fine.

For me, writing is such a better relaxer for me than any other type of activity. Most partial escapism grows tedious quickly. Sleep is certainly nice, but that’s just an extension of escapism. Whereas, for me, when I write, I can conclude with “something” of value. The published essay or short story is itself a trophy more valuable than any physical object or victory cake.

When I get hungry, too, I often will reach for those easy victories.

Just earlier, I was thinking of going for one of my few remaining snack bars, except I had earlier prepared a breakfast of sweet potatoes and broccoli. Now that my stomach is full of better quality nutrients, I am not interested in having any sort of sugary snack. When I get hungry in a few hours, I will probably make some sandwiches for work, take a nap, then keep on going until all of my writing is complete.

One more thing about victories.

For me, each time I publish an essay is a victory for me. It’s the culmination of a series of efforts – conceptualizing, writing, editing [sometimes], digi-typesetting, picture making [sometimes more difficult than the writing itself] – and that it even published at all is something I often take for granted. I am still too shy to think about the main page and what article is there, but if I were to embrace it, as I probably will as I complete this 30-day novel writing challenge, representing a thirty-day period in the Sammohini Arc of “The Story.”

Actually, by this essay’s publication, that will all be over.

I wrote and queued this up before I started. I have three more 2019 Novel essays to write before November 1st. I am trepidatious because this is the single biggest writing challenge I’ve had. I haven’t written anything with so many words in such a little amount of time before. I’m about as ready as I can be. If I fail, then it’s back to the grindstone to keep plugging away at writing. If I succeed, I’ll have a product on my hands that I can sell for passive income. I can maybe escape out of this rut I’m in where things are just “good enough” but nothing’s really “good” or “great.”

Let’s say I accomplish what I set out to achieve and life becomes better.

What will I do to celebrate?

I certainly will not go binge on calories.

Quotes: None.
Sources: My fitness experiences.
– This week’s weight: 213.5
Last week’s weight: 214.0
– Difference: I first weighed in at 212.0, but then I weighed in at 213.5, which surprised me, because I was overeating quite a bit, then again, I didn’t eat much the day before and of my weigh-in because I’ve been feeling sick lately with bad headaches, so I thought I was going to be closer to 218 pounds… 
Inspirations: I was thinking more generally at first, but then after switching from quick notes to long-form writing, I realized subconsciously I was writing about my 2019 Novel project.
Related: Past weekly column entries.
Picture: I completed A Story About Self-Confidence: What’s In A Name? with 10,000 words to spare.
Written On: October 30th, 2019 [28 minutes. From 2:10am to “empty calories that didn’t really” at 2:14am. From 2:35am to “my mind will subconsciously reach for a second” at 2:38am. From 3:18am to “little bite-sized bites” at 3:23am. From 3:57am to “arrived into work” at 3:59am. I scrapped about 50 words at this point and started to get interrupted too much to continue concentrating. From 11:30pm to to 11:44pm. Wordcounter then WordPress.]
Last Edited: October 30th, 2019 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.