[Rowing Machine] 2020: Week 28 {203.5} “Physical Therapy Cyst?, Part 19”

There is a pain that has lingered for days now. It is on the left side of my back, a few inches up from the opposite side of my belly button, and when the physical therapist, “Doctor-Number-Fourteen,” massaged that particular area, he saw what appeared to be a cyst. He reasoned that it was probably closer to a muscular-skeletal issue, however, it was a possible cause for the issues I’m encountering, preventing me from rowing.

That was yesterday, and when I woke up today, that area had increased in pain.

We’ve ditched our initial round of stretches to focus on three things. First, laying on my stomach maybe with a pillow otherwise doing nothing other than stretching my back for about one minute. Second, ‘light stomps’ as I call them, where I walk slowly and lift a foot up then down. Third, a 5-minute walk. I need to do these daily, but as of now, just before 4:30pm, I don’t feel like doing anything other than going back to bed or sitting here and distracting my mind from my body.

I’ll try to get out after I write my next essay.

That pain spot is radiating overwhelming sensations throughout my body. It’s awful. The idea of doing these stretches, though, is that it will work certain muscles that -Fourteen said as a specific word. It sounded like iambic. I’ll ask about the word again during my next session, but to spoil the reveal of the next essay, I’ll be seeing a physiatrist sports doctor soon to investigate the issue further. Whether cyst, muscular-skeletal, or otherwise, that doctor might find an answer.

I sure don’t feel like doing much now though.

I didn’t overexert myself yesterday during PT. We talked about how it’s important in exercise to reach my limit but not surpass it. When the pain gets too overwhelming, like it had when I had lifted my legs higher than usual for my stomp-abouts, that’s when I stop. Maybe I should stop before that? The pain in my left side was overwhelming then, and caused me to walk slower until, well, now and probably for the next day. This is not the feeling that encourages me to go for a walk.

This is the feeling that drains my motivation.

It’s a feeling of hopelessness. I don’t know when the next energy-draining round of pain will happen. It’s been a few minutes now. I’m in a good physical spot now. I’ve contorted my body in such a way where my back doesn’t feel inflamed. Even with two Gabapentin, one Nabumetone, one Tylenol/Acetaminophen-Codeine, and one Propranolol, I’m still in enough pain where my motivation to do anything is gone. It’s a difficult feeling to be in such pain with such little relief, but this is life.

Still, I will try my best to take that walk.

I don’t think I’ll be able to do much more than walk around outside. Actually, right now, I don’t feel like I can walk around at all. I can barely even write at the moment. Well, let’s retrace my steps back to physical therapy. I am still going into the office, which now has been fully fortified for COVID-19. The sign-in sheet is halfway across the office. There are “clean” and “dirty” pens that have been bathed in disinfectant. They have painter’s tape on the carpets with directional arrows for physical distancing.

Otherwise, most everything inside the PT area is about the same.

For each session, we talk about my physical progress and how I’ve been responding to the sessions. After one session, I was basically immobile for a week. It helped to get some of the deep-tissue muscles moving again but it hurt my recovery process. I’m surprised at how tired I’ve become through this whole process. I haven’t rowed in one month, as of this writing. I wiped some of the dust off it a few days ago. I could probably sit on it and do a row or two, but I don’t feel confident about that process.

I don’t have the energy, even, to give that a try.

Instead, let me continue to the thought. I have been using their stationary bike, just pedaling with my leg muscles, which has been a frequent question about whether my legs hurt as well. They don’t. I can do this with some physical strain. We’ll do some mobility exercises or some back muscle assessment. Whether this is massage in the medical sense or not I’m not sure, but this is where -Fourteen found the bump that seemed to be like a cyst. I’d only heard of it in name alone, so I was confused and concerned.

From what he saw, he wasn’t overly concerned.

-Fourteen had noticed something similar on my right side, so his theory was that they could be closer to how muscles bunch up in situations like this. That’s a fair assessment, because from what I’ve read about cysts, sometimes they will dissipate on their own, otherwise, it could require surgery. -Fourteen also explained the importance of walking with that iambic-type word, where walking helps to work those specific muscles, even if it seems trivial to take a walk, or painful like it feels like to me now.

I may only walk outside on days where my back doesn’t hurt.

For now, since it’s nearly 5pm, I will try to help my back recover, since it was hurting enough last night to where I didn’t feel like writing. If my back is hurting, even if -Fourteen says it seems counter-productive to walk through the pain, I think I will just stay in tonight to rest my back. There is no point in pushing myself now. My back already hurt enough throughout the day to limit any want to do anything. I’m surprised I was able to do as much as I did today, since it took me two hours to get out of bed.

I didn’t crawl out but it felt like it.

Quotes: None.
Sources: My fitness experiences.
This week’s weight: 203.5
Last week’s weight: 205.5
Difference: A few days ago, I weighed 202 pounds, so only being two pounds down is a good sign. I’m still in a significant amount of pain, overall, but things are looking up, I guess.
Inspirations: I’ve been writing about my PT as a way to better understand my health for a while now.
Related: Past weekly column entries. Sober Living essays and Tripping On [The American Healthcare System] chapters.
Pictures: Template
Written On: 2020 May 21 [4:16pm to 4:53pm]
Last Edited: 2020 May 21 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.