[Rowing Machine] 2021: Week 27 {224.5} “No Jumping Jacks”

During my final appointment with my chiropractor today, I told him that I am currently unable to do jumping jacks. Throughout our conversation about who to transfer my care to, navigating through transitioning insurance policies, I told him that I’m not really interested in doing jumping jacks. Sure, it’d be nice to do them, along with all the physical fitness that implies, but if I can’t – if I can only operate pain-free, I’d be happy.

I’m not sure where we’re going from here.

I guess the next step is waiting until I get my new insurance paperwork, fill it out, and wait until I get that before I can meet with another doctor about my care. Until then, my health will continue to decrease, but, I suppose that’s about the most I can expect from the American Healthcare System. Citizens have the ability to do whatever they want, so long as they can do everything that is expected of them, and when not, well, there will be months of hassle and jumping jacks to do before entertaining doctors enough until they’re bored and then they discharge me.

I feel like this chiropractor was good for most patients.

My care has been mishandled by so many doctors that if there was any hope of me being able to do jumping jacks, that’s long since passed. As I look around all the stuff in the apartment-mansion, and as I think of where I can move that’s cheaper and more accessible – I can’t leave my apartment on most days because of the stairs. Walking up and down the stairs in crutches is difficult. I can power through it but then I’m burned out.

I’m exhausted now but hopefully I’ll feel better tomorrow.

I can’t hope for much more than what is possible, and what’s possible is managing my health well enough to be able to have some good pain-free days. I woke up to a lot of pain and a headache, and I’ve had that throughout the day, even during the chiropractic relief, which is why I had the opportunity to have another, final session in two days but declined. There’s not much of a reason for me to keep going if there is minimal gain. When he told me before about “plateauing” I think that’s what he meant. It wasn’t like I wasn’t making progress, it was just an up-and-down sense of progress. It was helpful to get the chiropractic adjustments, but it wasn’t helpful enough to be worth the time and energy for me to keep going there.

It was decisive for me to forego a final appointment.

However, it wasn’t working well for me to spend so much effort going out to the chiropractor’s office, and especially during the past week, not having the energy to go to the grocery store, bring up the groceries I bought, put them away, bathe, and maybe do some other things. Now it’s been a lot more sleep. The same sort of sleep that’s not quite tired, but more of exhaustion from pain. The only people that sleep “better” than this are the doctors that feel like they did well by me – I exclude the chiropractor from this, because he didn’t want me to keep going at an expensive rate while I transitioned insurance, for one. Who I mean more are all of the spine doctors, neurologists, and sports medicine doctors that ordered MRIs, looked them over, looked me over, and told me I looked normal.

I can now barely hold myself up with crutches when I go down the stairs.

These same doctors probably can do jumping jacks. I don’t feel much jealousy for people and what they have. It doesn’t matter to me someone’s physicality or their physical composure. I am not impressed by how much weight someone can move around or what objects people own. I can appreciate objects, though, so it’s not a complete anti-materialism kick, but I don’t value anything like that. What I value is the application of those skills. Can you use your physicality to better yourself and those around you? Doing a jumping jack might be worthless unless you can do it to inspire others to try doing jumping jacks or you can use your physicality to help those around you.

If you refuse to help others by doing jumping jacks, is that entirely selfish?

I suppose it depends on the level of selfishness. If doing jumping jacks is out of some sort of personal pleasure, then that’s a fine enough hobby. But if someone does jumping jacks to show off to me, well, I’m not impressed at all by showing offs like that. I guess I would think of it like this: the chiropractor’s office was near a gym. The parking lot would sometimes be full of the vehicles of gymrats, so I would have to park far away from the door to get in – no doctor has written me a prescription for a disability placard or perhaps filled out the form for it, so, I have to park far away. There were a few times where I’d be tired by the time I’d get to the door, and, most non-automatic doors are heavy to pull.

I had some of these gymrats open the door for me.

Other times, I would try to pull the door and as I’ve learned over these many months of being disabled, I can position my crutches into the door jam to help me open the door. I have to be independent. It’s probably the perversion of the American Way of being independent, where in situations like this, even doors discriminate against people with disabilities. There is some sympathy, but not a whole lot. I don’t know, much of this was rambling because I’ve been tired, but, I’m still not confident I will ever be able to do a jumping jack again. If you can, great.

Unless you’re one of the apathetic doctors I met, then, I’m especially not impressed.

Quotes: None.
Sources: My fitness experiences.
This week’s weight: 224.5
Last week’s weight: 222.5
Weight Difference: Two pounds up
Difference between writing and editing for publication: Still no jumping jacks.
Inspirations: Talking about my life
Related: Past weekly column entries. Sober Living essays and Tripping On [The American Healthcare System] chapters.
Pictures: Template
Written On: 2021 May 26 [11:03pm to 11:26pm]
Last Edited: 2021 May 26 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.