[Sober Living] Addressing Root Issues

The situation left me so angry! Inebriation is never the solution for these situations. That’s not addressing the issue. Instead, I will fully recreate the events in my head while exercising. I’ll remember every detail, conversation, and emotion. Once I’ve arrived at the root cause, my mind will become once again calm. Here’s how I break through the water to get to the root cause of the issue taking down my post and my stability.

Exercising just puts a time limit on the negative thinking.

If I’m meditating alone for extended periods of time, I can think of every nuance of a situation. You don’t want that. Just like any good short story, if the story is about a conflict between two or more people, do you want to read about what color the carpet might be, unless it’s somehow relevant? We forget these details because they’re irrelevant to our internal narratives, and so too, this form of active meditation prevents you from focusing on the carpet rather than the conversation.

Doesn’t matter where you start in situation.

Usually for me, my mind will pick the first big offense in a situation. Here, it was an interview, and the first red flag was that no one was at the receptionist’s desk. I arrived 15 minutes early, knocked on the door, rang the doorbell, and no one was there. I talked with three people before my contact showed up, late. I’m used to people not being punctual, but that lack of responsibility is a subtle clue for me that they’re not really professional. That got me going at a faster exercising pace.

Next red flag was more insidious.

As we talked, I got the impression that they were burning through people rather than addressing their root issues. This will happen. A little bit of this is alright. Too much will mean joining a group that will push you to exhaustion, disrespect, and malice. I couldn’t get a straight answer when I brought up my concerns, when they ask as they always do if I had any questions. I asked the same question with different phrasings three times and none could satisfy my aching concerns.

More aching than my muscles.

All while rowing mind you, I recreated these events in my head, concluding with what one person said to another about their next meeting upon taking my leave from the reception area. I focused on what they said. “Alright, our next meeting is about…[1]” Upon hearing those words, I broke the spell, addressed the root issue, and eased up the pace. My lingering concern was that they were trying to loop me in to the sinking ship and hearing that reassured me that I’ll be fine.

I will continue floating my way to a successful ship.

Let’s say I drank instead. The stress of that successful interview – for me sussing out the situation – would still be there, lingering, causing me subconscious stress.

Instead, I’m onto the next interview!

Sources: My personal experiences

Quotes: [1] Interviewer.

Inspirations: Normally I would write indirectly about this as a short story. I wanted to be more direct since I felt like there was value in sharing how I work through issues like this.

Related: None

Photo: Taken in the evening after the interview. I like the stark lighting.

My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.