[Sober Living] Energy Drink Collector

I noticed something curious after starting to consume the low caffeine, high high-fructose corn syrup concoction, taken about 30 minutes after a 30-minute nap concluding my workweek: I felt uncharacteristically starved. I scavenged my fridge for carbohydrates. Nothing seemed to satiate this hunger perhaps provoked by this red syrup or perhaps by my disregard toward my mind’s eye and body with consuming such garbage even for a casual experiment. Why the sudden fascination with energy drinks?

My body is not a temple; it is an experiment.

We addicts, perhaps, disregard the stability of normalcy more often than you normal folk, or maybe we’re more drawn to peering through the other side? I think once you really get “in it,” figuring out the nuances of “it,” it’s hard to see life outside of “it” along with wishing for life outside of “it.”

It’s a dangerous flirtation.

However, to quench the beast inside, I think we need certain release valves. I need time away from others to recoup since my work is so social. Sometimes, that’s just a quick break, or sometimes it’s multiple days in solitude. Depends on how stressful the situation is around me and how tolerable it might be to be around.

I’m currently fascinated with this “galaxy of uppers.[1]”

There’s something about the striking graphic design and presentation, risk of the flavor and after effects, which make these random energy drinks casually amusing. I don’t drink them during my workweek or to an adverse degree. One of my first dips into these waters left me feeling dragged down the next day at work.

I’ve had plenty of energy drinks over the years.

I once went to one of those energy drink-sponsored concerts and drank some thirteen cups of free liquid of various assortments before seeing Motörhead. I once accidentally thought an energy drink was up for grabs, which wasn’t, so I bought a pack of them and littered them around as my redemption only to state this after almost all of them were gone.

I also have a better grasp of my body’s reaction to things.

Consuming that bargain bin drink that unlocked an insatiable appetite also acquiesced a marathon to conclude Revolutionary Girl Utena, where otherwise my focus might have become diverted from completing this goal. That increased appetite might be because, throughout the week, I eat rather cleanly, so the introduction of sugar junk liquid into my system perhaps inspired a craving for junk food?

Coffee is my usual “upper” lifestyle fix.

My daily consumption is perhaps more than necessary or healthy, but it works for me. I’ve claimed to myself over the years that if I didn’t drink a pot of coffee, estimating at 600 mg of caffeine, I wouldn’t be productive that day. Living on stimulants isn’t a healthy lifestyle. After this energy drink flirtation loses its lust, I may experiment with no caffeine days to either reset my tolerances or even for my own health.

At least this is a mild, controlled, and harmless experiment.

Quotes: [1] Hunter S. Thompson’s writing style, not so much in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas specifically, maybe more Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail ’72, has been emblazoned upon my brain. Here, of course, I edited his display quoted as “and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers” to something more wholesome for my current reading audience.
Sources: My personal and professional experiences.
Inspirations: There was a point part of the way through an episode of Rowdy Fuckers Cop Killers where they were talking about energy drinks and I’d already been flirting with the idea of trying more energy drinks, so that little insidious seed crept into my mind midway through the week before I wrote this essay and, uhh, now my fridge is full of energy drinks. OOOOOOOPS.
Related: Other Sober Living essays.
Photo: A fun shot of my handiwork.
Written On: August 1st [24 minutes, mobile]
Last Edited: August 2nd [Minor edits. Otherwise, first draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.