[Sober Living] Journey of Headaches

It seems like there’s a monkey behind my right eye that prevents me from enjoyment. It’s hard for me to focus. I can’t write too well. Writing doesn’t flow naturally for me in these sorts of headaches. I would have been able to form an elegant bead of thoughts together into a nice necklace of a sentence, but instead, I am just left thinking about the cause of this headache. Stress, allergies, or general ennui?

I don’t yet know what the source is of this headache.

I’ve had this same headache for a few days now. It’s somewhere behind my right eye and now I have a stiffness where my head and neck meets, so it’s probably a little bit of yesterday and the-day-before’s migraine and a little bit of my more common tension headaches. I have an appointment with a neurologist in about one month, an eye exam in about two weeks, and a doctor’s appointment whenever my benefits providers can get their act together.

Until then, I have to manage this by myself.

For a day such as this, where I have hours for my own planning, without a clear head to focus, I am left scattered like monkeys scampering about the caves of my minds. I’ve been reading Monkey [Journey To The West] but my focus hasn’t quite been there so it’s been more casual skimming, distracted reading, or otherwise not really fully soaking in the nuance of each word. That’s fine for literature I don’t feel like revisiting, like my previous read Dracula or 7 Habits, but I’ve been enjoying Monkey.

Each adventure is zanier and more light-hearted than the last.

In a sentence, Monkey King can fly across the world, land to observe certain aspects of the village, and then proceed to ransack whatever he felt like, only to return without issue. With stories that otherwise tell of characters that are meek or downtrodden, “Handsome Monkey King” is boastful, brave, and bright. I can see why he inspired so many tales, including Dragon Ball, and I would rather enjoy buying a more handsome edition than this plain paperback I’ve borrowed from the library.

Maybe this headache is through lack of stimulation?

No. There’s something with having a degree of focus, because once my brain steadies and my mind focuses on something, it can once again write as it normally does, but in a state like this, where the tingling has returned in the back of my right eye, that is all I can focus on. I may need some eye drops; this place is incredibly dry.

Just now, there was an incredible pang next to my right eye.

I pressed on my skull in the space between my right eye and my right ear for a 30-second spell. I’m documenting this because if we don’t know much about headaches yet and what causes them, as one doctor told me, then part of it might be writing about the events to legitimize them.

Begone, cudgeling monkey headache!

Quotes: None.
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: Trying to figure out how to solve the headache scramble that was my life.
Related: Other Sober Living essays.
Photos: The origin of me reading Monkey: this minifig.
Written On: October 13th [15 minutes, from 1:28am to 1:43am, Wordcounter]
Last Edited: October 17th [Added a word, otherwise, first draft; final draft for the Internet.]

My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.