[Sober Living] Patient’s Favorite Color

Telling the doctor about my headache from the day before that was so severe it debilitated my day, caused me to leave work early, ruined several hours of time, which I am still feeling the after-effects where I don’t want to do anything other than sleep, caused nausea – where his reaction was just like if I told him that my favorite color was green – was demeaning. Why would I let that tomfoolery bother me, though?

I’m disappointed in him and still feeling sick.

However, I won’t let that bother me much more than it already has, because I can just fire this doctor. He will not be an individual that will be empathetic towards my needs as a patient and was rude about other things as well. We tend to trust people in power because they achieved their power, we believe, through altruism. It may be true, but we should be willing to defend ourselves by holding firm. At the end of our meeting, he was dismissive even as I told him I wanted to see a neurologist about my headaches, like seven years of headaches with a new symptom of nausea being just “hopefully just a one-time thing.[1]”

Many people in life are like this doctor.

They won’t act in your best interest, even if they’re employed to do so. I’ve seen too many passive-aggressive or incompetent technology “professionals” to empathize with a majority of them. Users yell at them, they cause them pain. It’s a vicious cycle. The only way to overcome that is to tell people what you expect. When we go out into the world, we shouldn’t let bullies of any size or status bring us down. Let’s say you’re taking the bus into the city and someone is rude to you. Or rude online.

Why should this person deserve any respect from you?

Even doctors are terrible people. Who is this anonymous fool that is rude to you on the bus or online? Do they sit with you in your living room as you relax? Do they sleep in your bed? Even if they do, if they make you feel uncomfortable, then get rid of them. It is better to be alone and self-sufficient than co-dependent on people that will bring you down because you bring them down. There is no room in your life for someone that doesn’t respect you. If there’s one thing I learned throughout my childhood and into adulthood is the number of people that would betray my trust for any reason. I became addicted to finding the people that wouldn’t. I have friends and family that won’t, now, and I have comfortably cut ties with people that have betrayed my trust over the years.

Status means nothing to me.

If I tell you something about myself, like some deep pain as I am now or even deeper, and there is no sympathy, then I’m not interested in doing much with you.

There are far too many better things in life.

Quotes: [1] The doctor’s response after I told him for a second or fourth time about taking off work sick.
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: The title and opening paragraph came to mind as I thought about what to write about today.
Related: Other Sober Living essays.
Picture: My smiley with squiggles implying a brain with a headache in the form of a “x.”
Written On: September 24th [21 minutes, from 4:31pm to 4:52pm, WordPress]
Last Edited: September 24th [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.