[Sober Living] Reupholstering Our Attitudes

Most days are reliable like any piece of furniture, where any decent chair will consistently relieve your physical stress, then there are those few days… Maybe something breaks off from the chair? Maybe there’s an awkwardly persistent smell? Maybe something just feels off when you sit on it? What happens on those days? We can’t just dump the “broken chair” off somewhere and buy a new one. How then can we reupholster our life’s chair?

Let’s consider these two chairs. One is you, the other is me.

“We’re” both in a less-than-ideal situation. What are we doing out in some parking lot on the edge of town? Probably dumped off from some storage unit. Unwanted, it would seem. Nothing offensive or broken about either one. The resolution would be to take both chairs in for either a complete reupholstery from an expert or maybe they just need a minor cleaning from anyone? We think the problem is that there are too many chairs out there, so why should anyone focus on us? The chair on the right isn’t stylish and the chair on the right might be uncomfortable. There are probably better chairs out there.

Sure, just as there are worse “chairs” out there.

We should do what we can to make sure we are in as good of shape as possible. Whether that means accentuating our flaws or drawing attention to our prominent features, we shouldn’t consider ourselves better or worse than anyone else. We are merely ourselves. There is nothing wrong with us other than situation and perhaps being a little dirty. If there’s more wrong with us, let us be fixed, rather than letting us linger in pain. Will that improve our resolves? Perhaps only slightly so, however the grit that we battle as we face that battle is just not worth it. Instead, we should rock our chairs until someone notices.

Most “psychological upholstery” is just minor.

Asking a good friend for some casual advice. Going out into the world, meeting a stranger, and exchanging pleasantries – or maybe our darkest secrets, knowing, as we chat on the bus or at the concert that we may never meet again, or at least, that what we share won’t affect our lives. Even something as minor as temporarily giving our concentration over to escapist media, where a story might comment on the very pain that we can’t vocalize, might be enough clean up the little stains in our life’s “chair.” After all, if we can’t be comfortable with ourselves most of the time, something’s wrong.

How do we address these bigger “psychological upholsteries?”

That’s the limit of a weekly advice column, if you will. That’s where you have to admit to yourself that there is truly something wrong. That it’s not just a matter of being the second most comfortable chair in the room. That’s when you have to do something to improve your situation.

You’re not stuck in this parking lot like these chairs.

You’re just about good.

Sources: My personal experiences.

Quotes: None

Inspirations: Just some lingering depression that’s lasting longer than normal.

Related: None

Photo: If I had the truck and space, I might have taken both of these unfortunately poignant lounge chairs if they weren’t thoroughly trashed, but since I couldn’t/didn’t, I took this photo.

My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.