[Sober Living] Self Image Disaster

I think, secretly, we worry too much about what we think others think of us. What if we accepted ourselves for ourselves, what we look like, and our flaws? This would undermine many organizations – materialism, pharmaceuticals, fashion – and help us feel better. What if you like wearing a shirt that has a hole in it and no one cared about that hole? You wouldn’t need to buy a new shirt. Why not try that lifestyle?

We have this weird priority toward externalism.

What the tribe thought of us might have been useful when we had small communities of people and we needed to blend in to survive, but now there’s nothing other than ourselves. We can be as independent as we want. If your employer accepts you, isn’t that all you need? Do you need a promotion that badly to pretend to be someone else? It’s fair to try wearing different clothes to see if they’ll fit you better, but if you find an outfit that you enjoy, why try another right away? Unless you find some curiosity in it, then it’s worth the time, otherwise, what’s the point?

Oh, right, many multi-billion dollar industries that need revenue.

A gift is just the symbol of the meaning someone has invested in you. Dogs, for example, don’t understand the idea of gifts and, still, they love unconditionally with neverending enthusiasm and boundless energy. We would never accuse a dog of not loving us enough for buying us the latest videogame console or tomorrow’s junk, yet for our loved ones, for their birthdays, major holidays, and other special events, we buy things that we think they’ll love to symbolize a love that is not quite real.

There are some medicines that are good and necessary.

There are other medications that are harmful because they cover up the root issue. Are you depressed because you have a chemical imbalance or because of your situation? Living a life where you haven’t found your meaning, there is too much suffering, and not enough pleasure, could certainly inspire a life of calming the ups and the downs of life with antidepressants, just like how drugs and alcohol can amplify the ups, glorify the downs, and make life more tolerable for the rest of life.

Why would we need to present ourselves falsely?

If we like wearing nice clothes, then does that mean we want to appear our best for others or ourself? If I wear a new coat, is that based on its warmth or style? Should we be so quick to rotate out things that we once liked but now have little interest in? Or are we not satisfied with who we were when we last wore the clothes that we now want to part ways with?

This whole global marketplace is a harmful farce sometimes.

Buy the things that improve your lifestyle. When I buy groceries, I’ll buy food that I can make at home to save time during my breaks, but even then I’ll still gouge on food maybe because I’m worried about burning off too much weight in one day? I will buy other things as I need them. If an item is on sale that I wanted to buy, that was nice.

Sales are perverted, otherwise.

If you like something, its price shouldn’t be the primary allure. Sure, I’m drinking from a water bottle I got for free that I wouldn’t have paid much at all for, but I will pay full price for the water bottle that will fit the situation. I would rather own fewer things that I care about than more that I don’t. Although that applies to materialism, I think that’s the primary source of dissatisfaction at least for me. If I streamline my life to just what I absolutely care about and ignore the rest, then I can focus on some key parts of my life.

Why am I so disdainful toward myself?

I think it’s because when I look at myself in the mirror, I’m expecting someone else. Maybe the person that’s popular, cool, and able to integrate with all manner of polite society? Who is that person and why do I want that? I’ve guided my life away from trying to fit in. I am not normal. You are not normal. Who is normal? We pretend to be normal but deep down, we’re all freaks, and the ones that embrace their inner freak, wear that freak on their business professional sleeve, and don’t let others influence their opinions are the real winners.

I’m sick of the forced smiles of managers, directors, and VIPs.

You’re not impressing me and you’re not fooling me. I saw the tinge of sadness just before you placed that smile on your face. Your paycheck may be bigger than mine but your value is not. I will treat you as I treat anyone else and I will continue treading my own path in life just as you can tread your own path. For me, I don’t want to be owned by anyone – it’s disgusting, so owning things is equally as disgusting, unless out of necessity. When the water bottle, the laptop, table, and chair all lose their value, part ways with them with respect but quickly. Don’t let them influence you or weigh you down.

Unless you want to keep these items out of nostalgia.

The more we spread our focus away from what’s important, the more we’ll let our self-image be influenced by others. If we study ourselves in the mirror and decide that we’re good enough, then that’s that. No need for new things to impress. No need to tell ourselves we need to be happier. No need to dress to impress. We’ll be impressed enough with ourselves where we’ll carry ourselves in an impressive way for the people that are most important in our lives, including ourselves.

Who are people but reflections of our interpretations of them based on what they tell us?

We are just ourselves.

Quotes: None.
Sources: My personal and professional experiences.
Inspirations: I drew the picture without anything to apply it to, so it sat in my betzom folder for months. I put the title on my writing calendar and when it was time I just jammed on the thought for a while.
Related: Other Applied Psychology, Applied Self-Confidence, Downsizing Zeal, and Sober Living – which was the original intention going into writing – essays. This essay’s content was kind of all over those places.
Picture: I drew this in a fit of not feeling well three or so months ago.
Written On: December 17th, 2019 [33, from 10:42am, to 11:15am while listening to Cuz I Love You, WordPress]
Last Edited: December 17th, 2019 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.