[Sober Living] Tripping On Ondansetron

Side effects may cause headaches. Although my migraines have gone away, now I have a stiffness along the left side of my head and, nope, my migraine is back. Cool. This is the life I’m living right now. I have few alternatives. I have next to no sick leave and FMLA won’t guarantee I get to keep my job. I wouldn’t even be doing it to slack off. I’d be legit trying to get better.

I’ve been nauseous since taking this anti-nausea medication.

I don’t feel interested in writing much. It’s a matter of conservation of energy at this point. The pangs from behind my head feel bad but I suppose that’s all just part of whatever gnarly shit is going on through my brain sorting itself out. There’s not much I can do other than just wait to see what the general results will be, however it might turn out.

I’ve felt more sick longer than I ever have in my life.

My neck hurts really bad right now and I feel like I’m screaming into a void whenever I ask any of these healthcare providers for much help. Even the urgent care doctor, Doctor-Number-Five, for a surprise sequel, was helpful but I could tell that this was outside of her realm. I have to rely on my insurance to drag their feet along.

My eyes are burning.

I’m past the point of no return for feeling like I can stay awake throughout the rest of my shift here but I have to keep up and at it. I had a clementine just now but my stomach still feels upset and I don’t feel like drinking any water and I don’t feel like keeping my eyes open. Instead, I am slurring my typing, making typos, and just generally not feeling well.

I have my chin on my chest.

There is an intense pain behind my right eye that is stealing the attention away from my left knee that just started to hurt and then the neck pain returns.

I just had about two minutes of intense pain.

Now my right eye feels such intense pain that I’l just need to hold it until it stops, so I’m typing with my left hand. I would say that I am feeling worse than before taking this medication. At least before, the migraines were somewhat reasonable or tolerable, but now with all this added on top I can’t even focus or function much at all.

Physically, this is the hardest essay I’ve ever written.

My right eye is basically unusable right now. I have to hang in for at least two more hours yet until they decide what to do with me today and long-term. I don’t have much sick leave left so I have to suffer hee rather than working toward driving home to maybe get some relief there. Everything is too bright. Everything hurts. The base of my neck hurts the most. This is much worse than what I felt yesterday. At least yesterday, I was able to focus on long-term plans, of thinking about what I would write next, whereas now all I want to focus on is just writing until I run out of thoughts. I feel bloated and I feel like at any moment my bowels could burst.

I’m not a fan. I wouldn’t put in a good review for this.

I;m cld and I feel unable t move much around at all. I am making typos now and that doesn’t bother me much right now. I’ve found a comofrtable spot where I am sitting as far forward in my chair as my butt can go and my neck is leaned inward. I will need to hold my right eye closed-

I took a call well enough.

But now everything hurts. My back my leg and all of that. I can barely focus. I have to finish this work.

I had to step away to use the restroom and I’ve returned with no energy as well. This is awful. I feel terrible.

I read over all the side effects of the medication and a majority of them are what I’m experiencing now, so that’s cool. I just have to suffer it out for the next few hours. I feel like throwing up now. My body wants to tear itself apart, and I don’t blame it, but then there are moments where I feel OK.

I have no energy and feel too weak to do much of anything. I don’t feel like drinking water like I should. I don’t know what to eat. I just want to go home and sleep for however long it takes to clear all this out.

I don’t know what else to do.

I’ve been trying for so long to get all this sorted out. It’s been months. Doctor-Number-One wrote me a note for the sit-stand workstation and I told him about my headaches. He wasn’t interested in helping me. Even now, I’m just bothering all these doctors and insurance people is how it all feels.

I read over the other medication side effects. It’s all terrible.

I wish yesterday’s symptoms were all I had to worry about. I feel much worse today. At least yesterday I coudl function through most of the day until I reached that point-of-no-return. Now I have to work through it because I have no choice. I feel awful. My stomach feels like- I don’t even know. My vision is terrible. I don’t know what’s going to happen with me long-term. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel better again for more than a few days or weeks. This is all too much for me to handle right now but I have to handle it nonetheless. There is nothing I can do but to persist because there’s no choice. I have to fight through this, but I don’t like how these meds have been treating me, so I may not continue taking them.

We’ll see later today…

Endtable:
Quotes: None.
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: Initially, I was just writing to talk about my general experiences, then when the [actually serious – they advertise that nausea as a medical emergency] side effects kicked into high gear, this turned into a bit of a trip report, so hey, I hope you enjoyed that. I flushed away all the rest of this medication so this was the last time I took that medication. Also, I never got to mention this – I liked the fruity taste of it. It gave me context for what Bang Energy: Rainbow Unicorn tastes like: fruit punch or whatever.
Related: Other Sober Living essays.
Photo: Close-up of the warning label on the bottle.
Written On: 2020 January 07 [Written casually from 1:03am to 2:15am. I didn’t write this whole time. I just wrote whenever I had the energy. Gdocs.]
Last Edited: 2020 January 10 [Possible edits adapting from Gdocs to WordPress. Would this be the second draft, then?]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.