[Tripping On…] Medical Meandry Meander

I wasn’t sure how I wanted to go about writing fitness essays for 2022’s Wednesday essays since I haven’t rowed in over a year. When I started planning for 2021’s fitness essays, I was still optimistic about my health. I wouldn’t say that I’ve given up, but realistically, I won’t be rowing for the next few months of essays published here, written in late 2021, so why lie? Let’s consider my writing plans for these essays.

I now have three outlets for talking about my healthcare experiences.

This is important because if I don’t let out this pressure, then I might, say, get mad at a clinic representative unnecessarily. First, I have these essays. I’ll still be writing essays to this capacity – the major difference is that I’ll only write the essays when there’s enough content to encapsulate in an essay. Otherwise, I have the second outlet, which is writing at length in Zdiscord as it happens. Between today and two days ago, I wrote over 500 words about what happened lately, so that’s a good place to get the immediacy of information out there, and, if anyone comments then we can come up with ideas from there.

Third, I’m now recording these events as Medical Meandry videos.

These videos might get me in a degree more of hot water than any of these essays would, but that’s the benefit of doing all three. I can write the most incendiary things locked away in Zdiscord, formulate those thoughts here, then talk about them in a recording, or meander through the thoughts at length in a recording to get the pressure off, then write here to come up with ideas going forward. All three will, then, work together to help me out. I don’t need to repeat myself often from the videos themselves, but to give context, I’ve been getting the runaround from my pain clinic, and I had a major flare-up a few hours ago, so I will be calling my clinic about the event.

Here are my three options for the pain clinic.

First, I want them to send along the SI Joint as a prior authorization as we talked about two weeks ago. Second, they can send both that and the Lumar blocker they decided on recently and want to consult with me about next week along to my insurance company. Third, if they refuse, I want them to discharge me as a patient and send all my records along to my insurance company so they can find me someone who is willing to provide me with patient care and treat me with the empathy of a human being.

I feel confident that this will get me the assistance I need.

Before this flare-up, I was OK with going in to talk with this doctor about an alternate plan, because, why not? But the flare-up was directly at the SI Joint. There is no ambiguity in my mind that either the first injection, second injection, and ablation will help or begin to solve the problem. That they want to try something else is insecurity. I will force their hand because my body has forced my hand. I have no empathy or interest in playing this game with them anymore. Why a third consultation to talk with these doctors about my situation? Why do I need to go in-person to talk with this doctor about why I might want a different course of action?

The first option worked well enough for me.

The first doctor, who I would be seeing next week, did not have any of my records, and made no effort to appear concerned about how much of an unempathetic asshole that made this doctor appear. The doctor didn’t care in the slightest about me so why should I express any empathy toward this doctor wanting to brainstorm with me now? Get me going in a plan that will help me. Does this doctor want me to pick out everything else in this doctor’s life? Here, let me help you decide, doctor, what shoes to wear today. Oh, yes, you should do this, and do that. Fuck that!

If the doctors can’t make up their minds, I don’t want to see them.

I am not partial to any of the doctors I’ve seen. I don’t have any degree of friendship with these people. They’re not saints and gods in my book; closer to the opposite. So why should I be concerned over them delaying my patient care so that way they can pretend that they want to collaborate with me, maybe do a “huddle” as this first doctor was apt to do – talk to me as though I cared about sports, without asking, in my healthcare. My collaboration is to recover and the doctor’s collaboration is to not change opinions after telling me in-person that the opinion was good. It’s good enough. Why do we have to dance around for weeks and months more?

Is this good for raking in some additional finances from the insurance company?

Why do I need three consultations to consider whether one thing is better than the other? I was more tolerant before when they weren’t as much of a pain in the ass, but now that I have to deal with very real and harmful pains in the asses, I don’t need this pain clinic’s office to be another pain in the ass for me. My left leg is already hurting quite a lot as a result of waiting all this time. Let’s say I went ahead and met next week. Then I’d have to wait maybe a week or two longer before I could get any relief, and my health has declined in the two weeks since I last met with one of these doctors. I really have to question at this point how much they’re concerned with me as a patient versus a paycheck. I think they want to milk this out.

This way I can be another cash-cow paycheck patient.

Quotes: None.
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: Writing about my broadcasts and my healthcare will be how I’ll continue the spirit of the rowing essays. If I get back into rowing, then Wednesdays might return to writing about that, otherwise, if I have to sell my rowers and stop exercising like that, then that’ll all have been a dream.
Related: Sober Living essays and Tripping On [The American Healthcare System] chapters.
Picture: Template
Written On: 2021 November 18 [9:34pm to 9:53pm]
Last Edited: 2021 November 18 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]


My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.