[Tripping On…] Tripping On Pregabalin

Of all the medication I’ve taken, Pregabalin is the first I’ve taken that’s reminded me of the pills in Dr. Mario, and I think that’s a noteworthy fact. The others were solid pills that almost seemed like sugar, or at least were as effective as taking sugar pills, and I’ve taken enough of these now to say that these have been the most effective so far. They haven’t dulled the pain significantly, but they’ve helped…

I’d say they’ve knocked down the pain a point or two.

Which is funny because the painkillers I’d been prescribed that were stigmatized from before I even took my first dose – which, if they’re supposed to help me, shouldn’t they be encouraged, rather than discouraged? – were less effective overall. I will say that their effectiveness is subjective because I am currently doing less now than before. Before, I was still in a physical therapy regime and still trying to move around. Now, I’m resting up while I wait for surgery. My physical therapist said that surgery would take a lot more out of me than physical therapy, but considering how much physical therapy took out of me in regards to moving around with a bad spine, I think I’ll take the surgery to fix the bad spine to then get things moving properly again rather than pushing my body in ways that it’s not happy with moving in.

I still feel the pain but it’s not terrible and it’s not distracted.

When I took my first Ativan after going to the emergency room after being rejected for further treatment by my old pain management doctor since he considered the pain to be surgical rather than anything he wanted to assist with, I went to a thrift store to check things out, and I noticed as I was buying a book that my spine was hurting, but I didn’t care about the pain. That’s the sort of treatment that’s common in the American Healthcare System. Fixing the patient’s complaining rather than fixing the patient’s issue. So when I take these medications, I feel like I’ve become an expert in determining whether it’s something that will help distract me from the pain or address the pain.

Pregabalin helps me manage the pain decently enough.

I feel rather uncomfortable right now – probably enough to rest after I finish writing this essay – but not enough to be in substantial pain. I am overwhelmed by many factors of the American Healthcare System that don’t need to be so overwhelming. Bills, for one, don’t need to be so threatening. They can be clearer. I think they are this way to intimidate people into paying them. If you don’t have the moral fiber to pay, then you don’t. It’s this sort of system that discourages people to get themselves checked out for minor things in the first place, which might cause themselves to wait until it’s too late, but that’s beyond the scope of this essay.

Or is it?

I think that I’ve been a good patient, and that I’ve tried my best, only to run through the gambit of medications with limited to no results just goes to show that with good insurance that I have some luck. I am reminded of something I was told at one place I went to early on in my healthcare adventures. I was told that they only checked for insurance if people complained about the prices. It makes sense. If you forgot to show your insurance card, and this was shall we say a place where they needed to have a police officer posted at the door, then you probably didn’t have insurance, so why should they ask if you have insurance?

My spine is really starting to hurt now.

I’m adjusting my posture now. Despite all of my best efforts over the past month, and since learning that posture is important over the past few months, it seems like everything I do doesn’t help. I’ve found some relief with this change in posture but it’s only minimal. I don’t think this chair gave me any poor posture. I’ve done what I’ve could to structure my chair so it can be as comfortable as it can be for me, and even then, it’s only somewhat comfortable. Moving around does help somewhat, but there’s a deep pain that’s going all along my spine that’s preventing me from being able to focus too much.

I imagine without Pregabalin that this would be much less bearable.

I don’t like this sensation but I can still focus enough to complete this essay. Actually, I’ll need to stop here. As an example of medications, I had to lie down after I wrote that previous sentence, but when I did, I was able to do so with some effort and I set my alarm so I could rest with enough time to wrap up this essay before taking a phone call in a few minutes here. I don’t feel overly groggy. I never felt stoned on any of the other medications I took that were offered to me by the American Healthcare System. At most, I would feel more tired than usual, but nothing significant.

Does Pregabalin work?

Compared to other medications, I might almost hazard to say yes, and if I had received it first compared to Gabapentin, then who knows how life would have been different? Would I still be in the same situation I am now? Would my spine still require surgery? Would I still be receiving all these bills for hundreds or thousands of dollars and needing to coordinate with a company to see how much I really need to pay, or how much I will receive back in money for back payment? I don’t think that we can go that far and say that Pregabalin would have restored my health that much. At most, I could say that might have helped reduce my back pain months back.

But who knows, maybe it wouldn’t have helped?

Quotes: None.
Sources: My personal experiences.
Inspirations: My personal experiences.
Related: Sober Living essays and Tripping On [The American Healthcare System] chapters.
Picture: This is how I take photos of medications now. I take a zoomed-in shot of medication on my skilet.
Written On: 2020 August 18 [8:29am to “Actually, I’ll need to stop here.” at 9:02am] [9:42am to 9:51am]
Last Edited: 2020 August 18 [First draft; final draft for the Internet.]
My big goal is writing. My most important goal is writing "The Story." All other goals should work toward that central goal. My proudest moment is the most recent time I overcame some fear, which should have been today. I'm a better zombie than I was yesterday. I'm not better than you and you're not better than me. Let's strive to be better every day.