I don’t want to say that life should be a one-for-one of in-taking things and then out-taking other things, but, that feels like it might be a fairly efficient formula especially to prevent too much physical, digital, or emotional clutter. If I in-take hours of emotional stress from a community I don’t care about, why shouldn’t I be able to see myself out? The emotional ties we have to situations can be rough to downsize.
I feel like much of what I want to do, onward, is charity-oriented. That does require living within my means, so, not selling everything I own and living without anything, but, I don’t need many luxuries outside what is freely or cheaply available online. I feel like that’s the point of what I missed over the past 5 years of adding to my identity through buying materialistic objects, hoarding them, and wanting things to showcase me.
In life, how often do we truly go to new places? We might travel physically or mentally to new areas, but we are often chained to our previous perceptions of reality. We might go out for a day or even a week, but we’ll often return. We might consider differing points of view, so long as they’re not overly challenging. Going somewhere new requires sacrificing old physical and mental perspectives and the clutter of both.
Social hierarchies clutter up too much space in my mind. When they get into talking about the dynamics of relationships between people outside of myself, that’s when I find them the most cluttered. If I disagree with what someone has to say, that’s between me and them. The ramifications of that can spread out, but when it’s too grandiose, that’s when it’s easier for me to shift my social environment from one group to another.
There are people in this life we all live that will suck all the energy from you, and some won’t even know they’re doing it until they’ve sucked the last bit out of you. Spoon theory applies well enough to how I’ve been living the past year-plus with chronic pain and limited mobility. Videogame hit points are more relatable, but even still, we hoard things like we hoard energy – sometimes necessary to keep or expend.
This past week, I’ve effectively made no progress toward downsizing my way into cheaper housing. I bought groceries and brought a bag of donations to my trunk, but that’s it. Buying those groceries set my spine health back almost more than it was worth, since it hurt my spine for a few days after that. My neighbors have been louder over the past few months than ever, but, I still have so much to downsize.
If there’s anything I’ve learned over the course of my continued spine health, it’s how “work” can be done from more than one perspective. For my plans to move out of the apartment-mansion, not all of the work needs to be done from purely a physical perspective. This past week, and today especially, I have not felt well enough to do any movement. No trips to get groceries with a handful of donations today, anyways.
I donated some old clothes today in a long-overdue errand. Each time I went to the chiropractor, I brought some bagged clothes, but toward the end of my visits, I wouldn’t be able to get groceries before going home, drop off anything, or even get my mail. I was so tired after my last appointment it took nearly a week to drive anywhere, but I was able to clear out my trunk for more donations.
I didn’t have enough spoons to go out today, or this week, to donate the items I had wanted to donate. I don’t have excuses. That would be if I, say, forgot the items I casually brought to my car’s trunk or passed by a thrift store and didn’t stop by. This was more like I didn’t have the energy to go out and give away those donations or bag other things to go donate.
My moving-out pace, to attain freedom from high rent is slow, but, I’ve kept some things in mind to keep the pace going. Whenever possible, I’m trying to fill recyclable bags with recycling [topped with a garbage bag] the night before going anywhere, so I can trash the trash and recycle my recycling – and the bag if it gets thrashed. Another is frequently bringing down bags to donate. With few exceptions, then, I don’t deadhead.