As I grasp at the straws of what has gone so wrong with my health for so long, I’m trying with all my strength to do any changes I can. I noticed at some point over the past month that my chair was low, and I realized my laptop was low, so I bought 16 bricks, wrapped them in paper, and it’s been a few days. While I haven’t felt significantly better, I’ve felt some improvements.
Through a strange circumstance, I found myself in the same grocery store on two separate days with two different masks, and I could smell the difference. I remembered back to when I worked in the thrift store, where they sprayed that “fresh” spray in the morning and throughout the day. It wasn’t that mechanical smell. It was like I could smell more of the nuances of the grocery store through the thinner black, non-hospital mask.
I went to bed after 1am and woke up before 5am. I didn’t need an alarm. I woke up with the same lower back pain I’ve been having for months. I have the relief of not having to fight for people to believe that I am having these problems, but I am still fighting for the help of getting these problems fixed. I’m not sure if I’m in better shape, because it’s not fixed yet…
Astute readers will recall my brain scan MRI from earlier this year. My brain was unremarkable to Neurologist-Number-Two, and my headaches were eventually determined to be caused by upper-back pains, but now that I’m experiencing frequent lower-back pain, who’s to say that there isn’t a nerve that’s not causing both upper and lower back pain? It’s possible. I’m no doctor, but considering how much my condition has degraded over the past three months, anything’s possible…
I’ve been taking the nerve medication Topiramate and the muscle relaxant Tizanidine for a few days now. While I wouldn’t say they are a chemical love story, like PiHKAL or TiHKAL, they’ve begun offering some relief, perhaps. As I told the physical therapist, I felt at about a 5/10 for general health, compared to the 2/10 or 3/10 averages I was feeling throughout the past two months. If 10/10 is achieving the impossible, then I suppose 5/10 isn’t terrible, currently…
WANNA CONSIDER THE EFFECTIVENESS OF MEDICATIONS? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!
In this penultimate visit to physical therapy, on my second round of visits, I’m not completely better. I am substantially more educated in physical health, own physicality, and ways to help prevent long-term issues, perhaps. It’s tough, though, because for example, no matter how I sit, I can’t find a comfortable position. Everything hurts my spine. Standing also hurts. But if I lift my feet up off the ground, it can help readjust my posture.
At 12:51am, I wrote “immediately after eating the clam chowder,” I had debated making in yesterday’s essay, and I was going to continue by saying that my appetite had been restored. It’s just before 6am now. I ate some food, but the thing about having lived in constant pain for so long is that fatigue, hunger, and general consciousness blend together. I could stay awake for five days without sleep and not even feel tired.
What I found most interesting about this health issue I’ve been resolving, where my spine is not responding well to anything we do to work on my posture, is that with my increasing pain, I’ve had essentially no appetite for weeks. I’ll eat, sure, and the food will be nice, but I haven’t had the “need” to eat. Without desiring food, without hunger, throughout the past two months, I have lost 20 pounds, which wasn’t good…
Three people waited in line at the pharmacy; two of them were mad about waiting. These two people used every chance they could get to express their anger. As I sat there, patient, or as patient as I could while my lower back screamed out in agony, I was as polite as I could. Why be rude? Is that going to make the process go any quicker? Especially since the pharmacy was actually quite busy.
If there’s one thing that’s been nice about all this medical situation, it’s the moment when you finally get validation that… oh… wait… you actually are in pain right now. Yesterday, when I found myself in a specialty clinic to address these situations, I realized just where I was when I was signing forms that said that they had the right to kick me out if I was being rude. You know where this’s going.
WANNA SEE HOW I’M COMMUTING PAST MAJOR PAIN? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!
