Whenever I play videogames and I encounter certain cutscenes, regardless of how many savefiles I can keep, I might think, will this be the last time I’ll ever see this? Existentially mortal thoughts like that keep me grounded but sometimes depress me, too. I’ll think of all the people that I’ve met, or will never meet, that will never experience things like the video going into Golden Saucer in FF7. Do those thoughts prevent gameplay?
I sometimes wonder whether these essays where I explore wildly unrelated topics are successful, but then I consider that the purpose of writing and releasing these writings is succeeding on my terms: writing or reading to learn. Since I haven’t made any money with my writing, it’s easy letting financial self-doubt infect things. I might worry that I have to write about topics for broader appeal, but for me, I’d rather write what feels good.
I took my first dose of Gabapentin at 9:25pm. It’s 9:27pm now. Let’s see how this medication does for me over the next few hours, or whatever. First, I thought this was going to be Pregabalin, but I suppose they’re similar enough. Second, the side effects warning include suicidal thoughts in “a very small number of people, about 1 in 500,” so that’s concerning. Third, I’ve started to get a bit of a headache, but we’ll see…
Becoming more decisive in life takes many shapes. Making difficult decisions in life can be practiced by making difficult decisions in our recreational time. I’ve procrastinated on completing videogames since I was young because I wanted to savor them. Even now, I find it difficult to “find the time” to proceed through plot-heavy sections in FF7. I’m more likely to level up my characters for hours. Today, I decided not to savor the plot anymore.
Why do you play games? Primarily, of course, because you can play games for myriad reasons depending on your interests. Is your primary reason to learn their game mechanics to overcome some impossible challenges or challenger? Or, do you play games to soak in their sceneries? EarthBound was my primary nexus point for videogames, literature, and perhaps even life perspective. EarthBound is similar to FF7, which I am currently playing, because it has superb writing.
I’ve never liked going up on stage to talk to large groups of people, nor talking to large groups of people, or addressing more than two people, but I suppose I’ve been able to get over some of that through sheer force of bullheaded determination. If I need to do something, I’ll shut out the fear, then go do it. Is that what happens when, like I mentioned in Part 1, we ‘disobey the prime directive?’
WANNA CONSIDER HOW THE ENDLESS WAR YOU HAVE BETWEEN GETTING TO WHERE YOU WANT TO GO FROM WHERE YOU ARE MIGHT JUST BE A MATTER OF GETTING OUT THERE, EMBARRASSING YOURSELF, AND LAUGH ABOUT IT? CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!
When we set out in earnest toward our life plans, what happens when we get sidetracked? Vicissitudinous health events can ruin everything. When we stare death down, it may graciously whisper back to us, ‘not yet…,’ before releasing its icy grip, we might simultaneously realize that we still have a lifetime to achieve everything we want, and remember that we can’t achieve everything we want. What’s most important? Adapt to your adversities then overcome them.
I’ve been at Wall Market in FF7 for over five months. It’s not a difficult part in the game. There aren’t any wild fetch quests. I’ve been there so long only because I’ve wanted to soak in all the nuances of the world that I’ve procrastinated on spending that hour to actually go about soaking it all in. These sorts of minor, tangential thoughts are the ones I want to write about in “Media Meandry.”
I might read my 50-cent copy of Dune someday, but I’ll certainly rewatch Jodorowsky’s Dune first. Science fiction doesn’t do much for me. Analyzing scientific statistics against a starry backdrop doesn’t excite me. What human element does that story convey where I will have become a better person for experiencing it? I don’t have ten-thousand years to live. I’ve gotta make this whole life thing count. This novel’s purpose might contain elements of that drive.
Where do I find the time to write essays daily? If it takes me an average of 45 minutes to 90 minutes each day to conceptualize, write, edit, photograph or draw, and publish an essay, then I have to take that time from somewhere else. I had today off. I had fully intended to edit some larger projects. Instead, I slept, went on a walkabout, and now it’s well into the evening. I’ve still gotta write, so…