Self-confidence starts with your “self.” Literally and figuratively! When you feel good about yourself, when you trust yourself, and feel comfortable with your actions, the little things don’t bother you as much, and you can take more abuse. Once your internal base is solid, you can then start thinking more externally. You can start trusting others within reason over certain things. Let’s join Mr. A and our crew of writing analogy characters for some examples:
We put on our best masks during interpersonal conversation. In interviews, we are hard-working loyalists. On dates, we are charismatically civil. This unconscious manipulation lasts until we get the goal. The momentum may continue for a while, until we encounter stress where our masks are shattered. If incongruent, yes, that’s fraudulent. If you and them are honest, then it’s possible to overcome the loathing that happens after the honeymoon period to remain blissful, ever after.