I still have to remind myself near-daily that I have to work within my means. As I approach my fifth week since having spine surgery, I am finally starting to feel “normal,” if you will, which my current normal is not feeling nearly incapacitated due to physical constraints. I’m not at the point where I could feasibly run errands – I can barely walk them – so it’s a challenge for me to take life somewhat easier.
The most pleasurable thing about float tanks, to me, is letting my mind explore where it needs to go. I had a two-hour session today. Though it was mainly a “physical” float, in that I used the time to diagnose problems with my physicality, that’s fine because I made significant progress there, and also, thought through some things that were incomplete thoughts. Taking the time to float is something I want to do more often.
When looking over how I spent my time some weeks ago, I noticed I spent more time playing ENDLESS WAR than writing or preparing Novel 02. It’s common for me to dig into hobbies like that and I wouldn’t say I wasted that time, but since then, I tried to deprioritize the Discord MUD and reprioritize my writing time. When I couldn’t sleep, I wondered, is it time to !mine? After looking at the !time: yes.
I woke up feeling like I had already wasted the day because my head hurt so much that I couldn’t focus on any of the beauty within life and everything. How can I get into a better headspace from that starting position? How can I possibly do anything other than spend all of my energy attempting to mend the back pain that has hurt me so much? Here’s how I got to writing this essay.
Writing is all about overcoming the fear of opinions from others. When you write for yourself, you can write whatever you want. When you share your writing with anyone, effective writing is taking the idea that’s in your head, packaging it in a way that anyone can understand, so they can let your ideas live, survive, and thrive in their minds. This requires constantly tearing apart your work to rebuild it. Don’t fear those criticisms.
It’s about a half-year into 2020, so how did I do with my 2020 non-New Years Resolutions? Objectively, I failed. Subjectively, I’m still on course, it’s just taking a few months longer than I thought, and leading me down some roads I wasn’t anticipating. I’ve been able to work through them as best I can and even being as optimistic as I can, there are still ways I can improve myself and my working process going forward.
Throughout these essays where I’ve brainstormed while playing Pokémon LeafGreen, I’ve discovered realizations about videogame mechanics/stories I like and my motivations in life. I might not have realized half these were it not for this challenge of figuring out why I like or dislike certain things while playing. How will I apply these realizations? Besides playing more videogames with the leveling up mechanics I like and positioning myself toward a lifestyle that’s more predictably satiating?
Though I’m tempted to hole up for a month to write a novel, I still have my daily duties and monthly minds. I’m batching together the important chores – pay the bills, check the bank statements and credit card balances, and verify all the important paperwork is updated – so my head will be free of obvious obligations before beginning my project. After the jump, I’ll outline my plans for taking care of these potential procrastination priorities.
I need to fix the lighting in my lightbox. Within my mental checklist(s), however, this task has such a low priority that even if all the lights fall over the next few months there will be no significant impact to myself or my projects. I’ve put time sinks like photography for “The Story” on-hold for higher priority tasks, including writing daily, Seattle Indies writing, and Blah Blah development, with my highest-priority task being moving “Zeal.”
It’s been close to a year now of weekly fitness updates, originally just purely essays and now featuring some technical or somewhat anecdotal fitness information, and I can now officially say that I’m regularly and comfortably tightening my belt loop one loop! I used the previous loop basically as long as I’ve has this belt, other than my 6 month, 60 pound weight loss period, along with its surrounding months, so it’s a huge achievement for me!