I sometimes wonder whether these essays where I explore wildly unrelated topics are successful, but then I consider that the purpose of writing and releasing these writings is succeeding on my terms: writing or reading to learn. Since I haven’t made any money with my writing, it’s easy letting financial self-doubt infect things. I might worry that I have to write about topics for broader appeal, but for me, I’d rather write what feels good.
“Hey, uhh, thanks for stopping by.”
“Yeah, sure! Is now a good time for me to work on your device, doctor?”
The young computer technician arrived with notes in hand on how to fix the issue.
“Sure. I’ll just be reading over here. Let me know if you need me.”
“Sure thing! Thanks!”
She started clicking around on the computer, trying to figure out what was wrong. It wasn’t straightforward and wasn’t in the notes.
“If I had a superpower, it’d be persistence.” I’m tested against that seemingly arrogant statement every moment of every day. There will always be reasons to slip. Peace might just be unobtainable through any other means than constant conflict, yet that’s the only way I see that will get me to a place where I won’t feel tempted due to insecurity, doubt, or misery. To persist in the face of adversity is my comfort zone.
WANNA READ HOW I PICK MYSELF BACK UP? BY THE WAY, THIS IS ONE OF THOSE ESSAYS WHERE INSPIRE MYSELF TO PICK MYSELF BACK UP, AND PUBLISH IT SO YOU MAY BE INSPIRED AS WELL. CLICK HERE TO KEEP ON READING!
There is little more sobering than a close call. If it weren’t for the anecdotal driving stories I was told back in college, and fast reflexes, life would have been drastically different for me a few months ago. What ended up happening was the adrenaline-junkie drove off in a red car with California plates, his adrenaline high briefly reinvigorated, after slamming on his breaks from speeds about 30 miles per hour to intentionally crash my car.
What is the goal to your career story? How “did” you get there, if you’re predicting your 10 to 40 year plan? When we start our careers, any opportunity will do, no matter if it’s night shift or underpaid. I don’t think it’s that we become less flexible. It’s that we’ve seen the bad gigs and know that investing our time and effort into “this job” will actually pull us backwards away from our career story’s goal.
“There are two types of people. The people that see something weird and figure it out, like you, and the people that see something weird and ask you to figure it out for them.” The opening act haven’t (yet) figured out how to be good career performers, whereas Uriah Heep certainly did! Let’s explore vicariously through good and bad rock bands how we can exude confidence after figuring out the weird nuances of our careers.
I would go well past the point of social inebriation because I couldn’t handle the pain of reality. I needed panacea. The serene bliss of numbness outweighed any risk. I was also in a self-destructive mindset stating ‘not much is my fault,’ especially when I couldn’t address the stress and pain in my life, because I was the innocent victim, after all… The pain is still here. It’s just now I can actually fix it!
My addictions strangle me when I’m unable to cope with situations. Hearing bad news kills. Chilling, defined here as succumbing to any addiction, then feels acceptable. If you’re anything like me, we need to re-enforce our defenses, rather than ask that the constant barrage of life’s perhaps-positives and perhaps-negatives cooperate with us. It would be nicer to have a conflict-free life. That won’t happen. Let’s instead try figuring out how to build up our defenses.
Today marks five years since I last drank. I’ve since been in many bars, been around many people drinking, but have had good enough friends to respect me, and steward me through. “If I saw you with a bottle in your hand, I’d knock it out and ask ‘what the hell are you doing?’” My external resilience has enough fortitude to endure pretty much anything now. I think it’s the internal weakness that kills us.
I don’t meditate like most people. Traditional practice asks that you should empty your mind, clear your thoughts, and calmly sit. While I’ve had some success with this method for reaching thought equilibrium, I’ve had more success in float tanks (or when I have downtime) letting the errant thoughts freely roam, with the most success occurring after going in with challenging questions that need time to develop, like a photo of an unclaimed optimal future.