I’ve lived alone for ten-plus years. The only prospect of having spine surgery that was scary for me was trying to figure out how my bandages would be tended to daily. I’ve had someone that’s been willing to help, but it’s been a drain on them. Today, through my hubris of showering after having my wound dressed, I got the bandage wet, it peeled partway off. With a hand mirror, I carefully redressed it myself.
“This is probably just vanity, but [user]’s got my scalp and it kind of annoys me that [they] of all people has it – which is probably why [they]’s adorning it.”
“Well if [they] has it adorned there isn’t much we can do”
“Yeah offer a trade maybe”
“True. I’m just leaving it [as-is] because eventually [they]’ll get bored like any other bully, whereas if I get mad or do any trades then that value increases.”
Moments within Eizouken! that reminds me of working on projects, covering themes that can apply to group or solo projects, large and small. Although I’ve never worked in animation, the moment that struck the most poignant for me was one particular scene. I often saw scenes like this while I was in the indie videogame development scene because once work gets hard, I saw developer after developer secretly or publically want to leave projects incomplete.
I slept from 2:25am to 7:40am, then from 10:40am to 6pm, and it’s not that I feel especially tired, just that I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I don’t feel like bathing. I don’t feel like rowing and barely feel like writing this essay. On the surface, that’s been because the past week has been more stressful than necessary, both from a vocational perspective and from not getting enough rest. Let’s address that.
I realized a problem with my writing: I’ve reached a soft limit of how I can communicate. There’s a lot to unpack, so let’s analogize with my cheap “pawn shop special” bass: it fulfills all my limited needs when it comes to learning the basics. I can pluck strings and learn chord progression. I don’t mind tuning it whenever I’m serious about playing it. Now if I wanted to play with others or even professionally…
“Thanks for the lesson yesterday afternoon, Hank! I, uhh… have a question for you, if you don’t mind, about…” The recently-hired computer helpdesk technician paused after self-doubt made her realize she’d been rambling. “No worries. Please, feel free to sit down. I’ve got a minute. What’s up?” She looked around, found the guest chair in Hank’s cube, politely sat down, and flipped open her large notepad to a section that had a circle around it.
A new ticket appeared at the top of the ticket system’s list. High priority! “obscura4 down!” The second-level computer repair technician tasked with managing the queue, Sammohini, read through the ticket details. In the private notes, the first-level technician noted “customer says venkat always fixes this. hes out sick. does we need 2 call him?” She assigned the ticket to herself. ‘No one’s here,’ she thought, ‘and Venkat’s out sick, poor guy… let’s find his notes!’
Next stop on a troubleshooting tour: an occasional printer issue with the Oncology backup printer. Even after one of the nurses replaced the toner cartridges, it still would not print. “Hi, I’m Sammohini from IT, here to look at the printer!” She flashed her employee badge and smiled. “Sure… it’s back over here. Follow me.” Sammohini tried to make polite small-talk with the nurse, but it looked like she was too tired to really care.
I realized a problem with myself: I wasn’t writing daily. Even though I was publishing essays daily, there were days I’d only write a few hundred words, so I agreed to dedicate myself to writing at least 500 words daily. If you want to be something, do it daily. This dedication has taken discipline, sacrifice, and stress. There are still days where I don’t write 500 words. Through all that, here are 425 words on what I learned:
Let’s say you’ve got ten minutes to catch the bus, you’re nine minutes away, and the only thing preventing you from achieving that goal is fighting through your self-doubt. Megalobox embodies that spirit! We follow the efforts of underground boxer “Joe” as he becomes inspired to attain his goal of freedom through fighting in premiere boxing tournament Megalonia. Joe’s efforts mirror our own. We also fight self-doubt in attempting the impossible to attain our goals!
Rating: ★★★★★ [5/5]
Spoilers?: Nothing significant (structural commentary)
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