I sometimes wonder whether these essays where I explore wildly unrelated topics are successful, but then I consider that the purpose of writing and releasing these writings is succeeding on my terms: writing or reading to learn. Since I haven’t made any money with my writing, it’s easy letting financial self-doubt infect things. I might worry that I have to write about topics for broader appeal, but for me, I’d rather write what feels good.
In ENDLESS WAR, I was thrust into a morality decision that I did not like, so I acted or perhaps overreacted in ways that best suit my core thoughts on life. This didn’t make the other happy. When I woke up, I found myself writing my life’s ethos over the period of roughly ten minutes. It’s not a perfect representation of every aspect of my beliefs. However, as a broad starter, I think it’s fair.
There is probably no entity that would willingly advocate for the endless ubiquitous pain of every creature in the universe. If there were, that creature would be so mauled by negative emotions, unable to dispell them, that they would thrash out in so much agony that the results would destroy everything in sight. What a twisted, terrible fate! Yet, how easy is it to fall into that trap? It just takes a few bad days…
Thrift stores are wrought with morality and mortality. Every item was once someone’s misguided best intentions, loss of interest, or change in life situation. It’s no one’s fault. Handling donations one winter years back, I once accepted a woman’s donations and the story of her daughter outgrowing them, only to see some of those innocent objects destroyed in the trash compactor hours later. At least I gave her a sense of restoring her intended honor.
There is little more sobering than a close call. If it weren’t for the anecdotal driving stories I was told back in college, and fast reflexes, life would have been drastically different for me a few months ago. What ended up happening was the adrenaline-junkie drove off in a red car with California plates, his adrenaline high briefly reinvigorated, after slamming on his breaks from speeds about 30 miles per hour to intentionally crash my car.
Growing up, I was most interested in observing the peripheries of things. I explored through the lens of an outsider many fictional videogame worlds to see their hidden nuances. I explored my own imagination to figure out myself and explored reality with equal lenses. I wonder, now that our innocent childhoods are replaced with real life, do we want to explore our realities fully? Do we want to see unedited monuments? What is objective truth?
“Is that… vodka?” Why is it weird going to a bar or being in any social gathering and drinking water or any flavored drink that won’t influence your thoughts? Are we so damaged as a society, or insecure as individuals, that we can’t just hang out with new people without getting wasted? We don’t even ask to receive our equivalent ‘drinking age verified’ bracelets. They’re just given to us on presumption. Why oblige alcohol norms?
The situation left me so angry! Inebriation is never the solution for these situations. That’s not addressing the issue. Instead, I will fully recreate the events in my head while exercising. I’ll remember every detail, conversation, and emotion. Once I’ve arrived at the root cause, my mind will become once again calm. Here’s how I break through the water to get to the root cause of the issue taking down my post and my stability.
Why review anything? What does it matter what I think? It’s my opinion, formed through my perspective and biases, which could change through time and experiencing other media. No matter how closely our opinions could occasionally match, we aren’t the same. Are reviews meant to save time and money? If I say something is good, would you be more likely to check it out? I think reviews should provide information, anecdotes, and friction to consider.
Stop defending yourself! Quit justifying your existence, your actions, or your life’s intentions to every person you observe. We’ve got it all twisted. Sure, it’s important to explain ourselves to our family and close friends. They’re invested in our future and our failures could drag them down financially or emotionally. Everyone else, though? Who cares! Why invest your energy in the stranger that might scoff at you? All that does is lead to feeling insecure!