I’ve lived alone for ten-plus years. The only prospect of having spine surgery that was scary for me was trying to figure out how my bandages would be tended to daily. I’ve had someone that’s been willing to help, but it’s been a drain on them. Today, through my hubris of showering after having my wound dressed, I got the bandage wet, it peeled partway off. With a hand mirror, I carefully redressed it myself.
In ENDLESS WAR, I was thrust into a morality decision that I did not like, so I acted or perhaps overreacted in ways that best suit my core thoughts on life. This didn’t make the other happy. When I woke up, I found myself writing my life’s ethos over the period of roughly ten minutes. It’s not a perfect representation of every aspect of my beliefs. However, as a broad starter, I think it’s fair.
I slept from 2:25am to 7:40am, then from 10:40am to 6pm, and it’s not that I feel especially tired, just that I don’t feel like doing much of anything. I don’t feel like bathing. I don’t feel like rowing and barely feel like writing this essay. On the surface, that’s been because the past week has been more stressful than necessary, both from a vocational perspective and from not getting enough rest. Let’s address that.
Stop defending yourself! Quit justifying your existence, your actions, or your life’s intentions to every person you observe. We’ve got it all twisted. Sure, it’s important to explain ourselves to our family and close friends. They’re invested in our future and our failures could drag them down financially or emotionally. Everyone else, though? Who cares! Why invest your energy in the stranger that might scoff at you? All that does is lead to feeling insecure!
We can decide whether our weaknesses will cause us to become weak. While most weaknesses can become excuses that can potentially control us, there are exceptions that should be respected. My intentions are pure, so let’s not focus on any possible hypotheticals for this week’s update to “The Story.” Instead, let’s focus on two casual examples of when main characters John (off-center) and Trishna (center) decide to not let their physical weaknesses make them weak.
My addictions strangle me when I’m unable to cope with situations. Hearing bad news kills. Chilling, defined here as succumbing to any addiction, then feels acceptable. If you’re anything like me, we need to re-enforce our defenses, rather than ask that the constant barrage of life’s perhaps-positives and perhaps-negatives cooperate with us. It would be nicer to have a conflict-free life. That won’t happen. Let’s instead try figuring out how to build up our defenses.
“OK, Jane. We have time for one more question.”
“What’s the successful candidate look like in this role? What should I focus on to prevent myself from being unsuccessful?”
“Well, lemme tell you about the old guy. What a lazy bum! Couldn’t do nothing! He couldn’t understand anything we’d give ‘im! We’d tell him repeatedly how to do his assigned work and he’d seem to just forget! Stay away from the guy you are replacing!”
I was feeling stressed out until Gogol Bordello kicked into the chorus of “Break the Spell,” just as I’m usually always despondent after hearing bad news, until I breathe in deeply and accept the circumstance. No one died, nor will die because of this. It’s unfortunate, sure, but that makes for good writing fodder, so get over it! That’s not meant to be callous or superficial. It’s just acceptance is the first step toward resolution.