It’s past 6 PM and the view of the parking lot was just as stale for Jane as it had been three hours ago. The studio apartment was cluttered with a cheap brown couch that had a broken pull-out bed, shaky desk for a computer, a cheap dining table with three mismatched chairs, and an acoustic guitar collecting dust. She hadn’t been outside all day, other than four times to smoke on the balcony, reading erotica.
10-minute rowing sets take a certain physical and mental endurance. I don’t want to push people away from exercising by saying it’s taken me nearly 600 days to get to the point where rowing twice daily for 10 minutes isn’t difficult, so let me instead focus on the most immediate reward for this level of physical and mental dedication: active meditation. There is no better feeling than setting a pace, rowing in peace, then figuring something out.
From Friday AM to Sunday AM, I was voluntarily awake for about 60 hours. I took breaks, ate well, and slept, of course, but otherwise, almost all of my focus was spent capturing as information as possible. I didn’t work quite as hard as some people, but I’ll use myself as an example of why I think it’s important to pace yourself. Working to that degree of intensity works only if you take care of yourself.
The clock on the dashboard of her truck read 9:23 PM as she pulled into a parking stall in the run-down apartment complex on a Friday evening after a long work day. Jane, a former computer repair technician currently picking up hours moving furniture, had been awake since 3:30 AM for a full day of work. All she could think of as she parked her truck was making sure not to crash before crashing on her couch.
“Are you planning on exercising at all this weekend?” “No.” How does one stay in decent shape when faced with the impossible odds of collecting as much information as possible? Is it enough just to eat decently and avoid terrible foods? Sleep decently and pace oneself? When you enjoy the work you do to such an extreme level, how do you make sure not to burn yourself out? Is this all easier said than done?
Do we play videogames to escape from reality? Do we drop into videogameland vistas to explore new or familiar territories out creative curiosity? Or are we compelled to ignore our controlless, chaotic world in favor of fanciful fictions? Are fictional worlds candy for our imagination or the full-course meal that enriches us with delicious delights? This could apply to everything from reading, writing, working, overworking, or playing sports, we’ll just focus on videogames for now.
There was a rush at the Sneaker Transport warehouse to unload everything off of three trucks one muggy Evillain morning. Their loading docks were slammed full of outgoing furniture already without the three trucks scheduled haphazardly at the same time. They could have sent them packing, only to return later, but the decision was made to have two stalling out in the yard and all hands on deck to carelessly unload all the incoming furniture.
I’m writing this paragraph facing a vending machine. “I wanna focus on this. I’m feeling a little stressed out.” This vending machine has two things I’d enjoy snacking on right now, cream sandwich cookies and strawberry wafers, with some others I might like as well. My body feels tense. I am aching, craving these sweets as an efficient muscle relaxant. I’m tense, the writing doesn’t feel natural, and I don’t have enough time to row.
I’m drowning in this feeling of hopelessness. To fully consider an event and the circumstances around it is to live with this dread and panic that not everyone in life is acting with your best intentions. As much as I’ve wanted to think about how my childhood with a difficult compulsory education, where I have no friends from elementary through high school, made me ready to protect myself against betrayal, it really hasn’t. Oh well…?
Fitness has taught me mental endurance. If it’s a dull, external pain, like some heavy rain, that’s different than some sharp, internal pain, like some back pang. Those dull pains will usually be fine when you push through them, with regret being the only pain point, whereas sharper pain should always be respected and addressed. When I learned to tell the difference, it made enduring cold rain for a set more worthwhile than staying home.